I Think About Death

I am asking myself this morning when I am going to quit blaming my hormones and just admit to myself that I just don't want to live. Go somewhere else and be someone else and that is always fun for a short while but then the desire to die comes back. I don't even know why I am still around, why I wait, what I am waiting for. Nothing will change unless I change my thoughts and feelings about this life and I just don't want to. YES, this another day I woke up pissed that I it happened again. I don't see the point in living this facade anymore, pretending to be normal everyday. I am tired of pretending, I am tired of living, so very tired. I daydream and plan my escape more than I actually enjoy my life, yes I do find enjoyment in certain faucets of my life, it isn't bad.

I am sitting on the beach after taking too many pills and just waiting for death to take me....