I Often Feel Like Depression Has Me Not That I Have Depression

My thoughts are eating me alive
Screaming, shouting on the inside
Why can't anyone see
This fight is with myself and me
There is no winner, yet I'm the loser,
My heart quakes, “why did you choose her?”
There are breaks in my bones
My thoughts are worse than sticks and stones.
Taunting, demeaning,
Leads to scratching and pulling
My veins are pulsing
Why is it so hard to stay alive
When I'm just trying to survive?
I'm being torn inside out
Tired of fighting my brain wants to shout.
What is there to do
when your own body and mind is against you?
I've tried all the tricks
My thoughts laugh, “I'm never going to quit!”
My feet are constantly on the run
Since this whole thing has begun.
What is one supposed to do
When the killing thing is YOU.
How can I survive
When my thoughts are eating me alive?

~Laurengripp94