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I Was Adopted

Here's the Story......
[i](Originally posted on EP, April 2009)[/i]

I was adopted at birth and have never met my natural parents. However, I know the basic circumstances around my adoption from information passed down through the adoption agency involved.

It seems that both my natural parents were married although not to each other and that I was the product of a one night stand at either a Christmas or New Year's party which took place at a local hotel. I even know which hotel it was! Apparently my natural mother's husband left her as a result of the affair and her getting pregnant with me, and she gave me up for adoption. She had two daughters from her marriage so I have two half-sisters somewhere. I know my natural mother was from the UK and my natural father from America but don't know his name because my mother didn't add his details to my birth certificate.

My adoptive parents adopted me because they were told they couldn't have children. They planned on adopting a boy first and then a girl a little bit later on. In the meantime, though, my adoptive mother became pregnant despite doctors' assertions that she couldn't and, as a result, I have a younger sister who is the natural child of my adoptive parents. My adoptive family has been very good to me and I feel lucky to have been afforded a good life with them.

Being adopted has raised a few issues for me over the years. Firstly, I have never felt I've known exactly who I am and where I belong and it feels strange that I don't know more about my roots. I have at times been tempted to search for my natural parents but, for various reasons, have never gone through with it. Secondly, I have always felt like the 'odd one out' in some sense, particularly as my sister is the natural child of my adoptive parents. When I was younger I didn't get on very well with my mother and I often wondered whether the fact I was adopted had something to do with it. That seems silly now but at the time it did play on my mind.

Looking back, the issues I have had relating to adoption over the years have been far outweighed by the benefits. I love my family dearly and I feel very lucky to have been adopted by such caring and supportive people.
Lolco · 36-40, M
highly recommend you do AncestryDna or 23andMe

i did both : )

They will show dna relatives.
Lolco · 36-40, M
@Peaches I did both, & trust me there were surprises lol 💕💕 🤗
fazer1k · 56-60, M
@Lolco Thanks for the tip. If I get the urge to find out again I may just do that.
Lolco · 36-40, M
@fazer1k no problem 🍻
You know I was adopted and although I was born into family my birth parents couldn't take care of me . I have never looked back and just recently found a note my dad wrote to my mom - I love our baby - that meant the world to me - I had the best mom and dad in the world
fazer1k · 56-60, M
That note was a nice find. :-)
Thank you for sharing.... You wouldn't love your biological parents as much as your adopting parents even if you found them.... You are one lucky man, because you were chosen by your parents.
fazer1k · 56-60, M
Thank you. As time goes on I appreciate more and more how lucky I was.
NineLives · 41-45, F
I've heard this is very common in adoption situations, where the adoptive child feels like he/she doesn't belong. A lot of it has to do with the fact that despite everyone's best intentions, you can never beat genetics.
Newborn babies can recognize their mother's scent immediately after birth and will refuse to nurse from a "strange" mother. Imagine the emotional confusion that a baby must have when they can never lay in their mother's arms where they belong.
I would delve deeper into it with you, but it is a very personal and touchy subject for me. 😕
fazer1k · 56-60, M
I have also concluded that genetics play a huge part. It's as though we are programmed to know where we belong and that anywhere else, however pleasant an environment, will never feel truly natural.

The next part of your post is very interesting to me and if you should ever wish to go deeper I would love to learn more. Thank you for your input. :-)
Peaches · F
I'm sure it's very normal for anyone to want to know where they came from. You are indeed very lucky to have a loving adoptive family. I found a half sister on face book a year ago and went to meet her. My family is all screwed up. 😳
fazer1k · 56-60, M
@Peaches Part of me still wants to know about my birth family yet part of me never has. It's a strange feeling, but the net result is I've never found out anything. Not knowing really doesn't bother me now but it did at one time.

I'm glad you found your half-sister. 🙂
SW-User
You were lucky... we are not all so
SW-User
This is my story https://similarworlds.com/story?fid=1449019&tid=61546&name=I-Am-a-Survivor-of-Child-Abuse
SW-User
Nope.. birth I want nothing to do with.. adoptive abandoned me
fazer1k · 56-60, M
Thanks. I'll take a look now.

 
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