I Am a Child Abuse Survivor
To some this might sound strange but my mother had me when she was 16. My dad was 27. He was not a nice guy despite the face he gave off in public. He would beat my mom and knock me around just because he could. Whenever I cried I got screamed at. I was told to shut up, real men do not cry, I will give you something to cry about and that I used it as a crutch and to manipulate them. I remember my mom tried to calm me down once and he started going off about how I was just manipulating everyone.
I wasn't really allowed to have emotions. I wasn't allowed to cry, I wasn't allowed to get mad or defend myself. I was always told my voice didn't matter because I was a kid and did not contribute to the family. Used to get yelled at for laughing too. My younger brother and I would be playing upstairs just laughing and you would hear a loud voice yell from the living room to shut up and to not make him get out of his chair.
Got dragged down the hall by my hair. Was always yelled at for liking cartoons such as He Man because they were not "real". Always an argument over what was real with that man. As a teen he tore band posters off my wall. Would listen to music and he would come barging in tearing the stereo plug out of the wall wanting to argue about what the hell did that guy know about war or pain. But remember I was never allowed to have an opinion or defend myself. I had to sit there and take it all with a straight blank face no matter how much I wanted to cry.
When my mom and him would argue and yell I remember being little yelling and screaming and crying trying to get them to stop. WHen they finally divorced he drove by the house and threw a brick through the window. I remember walking home from school and seeing a board over the window.
There are a lot of others things I could write but it is getting long and some stuff should just be kept to myself.
I wasn't really allowed to have emotions. I wasn't allowed to cry, I wasn't allowed to get mad or defend myself. I was always told my voice didn't matter because I was a kid and did not contribute to the family. Used to get yelled at for laughing too. My younger brother and I would be playing upstairs just laughing and you would hear a loud voice yell from the living room to shut up and to not make him get out of his chair.
Got dragged down the hall by my hair. Was always yelled at for liking cartoons such as He Man because they were not "real". Always an argument over what was real with that man. As a teen he tore band posters off my wall. Would listen to music and he would come barging in tearing the stereo plug out of the wall wanting to argue about what the hell did that guy know about war or pain. But remember I was never allowed to have an opinion or defend myself. I had to sit there and take it all with a straight blank face no matter how much I wanted to cry.
When my mom and him would argue and yell I remember being little yelling and screaming and crying trying to get them to stop. WHen they finally divorced he drove by the house and threw a brick through the window. I remember walking home from school and seeing a board over the window.
There are a lot of others things I could write but it is getting long and some stuff should just be kept to myself.
