I Believe In the Power of Prayer

Our dear Lord, for the sake of everything thats holy in this forsaken world, for the sake of everything thats good on this damned planet, just give me the strength to carry on with my life.. Im struggling each and every single day to stay alive, I'm struggling each and every single day to function like a human being, I never felt so worthless and down in my life, how could anyone be so worthless like that!! I never imagined myself being like that, out of all the changes to be happy and cheerful and source of happiness for the people around me, I've became that much depressed and worthless.. All i ever really want is to be happy and be human being or at least some of it..

I know that i don't deserve any of the gifts you have bestowed upon me, i now i don't derive to even stay alive for another second, but why is it that I'm still alive even though i could've been dead several times ?? Whats the wisdom in being depressed and weak for everyone to just screw me up over and over and over again!!

Im sorry, I'm sorry if I was weak and questioning to Your mighty or wisdom, but i just don't see it.. and every day when i convince myself that its gonna get better, it never does!! Its never better, its always more depressing and more hefty on me!! Im losing my sanity, I'm losing my faith, I'm losing myself and i swear I'm going into someplace thats so dark like no other and i don't want that!! I just want to be able to...smile... How come its so hard ? How come that Im that much worthless to each and every living soul on this planet!!

Ive been praying for things to get better and it never does.. sigh... If things are about to change, now would really be a good time !!!!

Amen..