I can't get pregnant, and there is nothing I can do about it. [I Cant Get Pregnant]
**EDIT** I am aware that not all cisgender women can have children and that this is not a unique issue to the trans community. If I offended anyone, I apologize.
Today I am in my feelings, hard. It doesn't help that is has rained the last three days, and is likely to rain again today. On top of that two of my friends (one from college, and one at work) recently found out they were pregnant. Both were not planned, but both are excited.
To each of their credit, they down played it when we spoke as they know how sensitive of a subject this is for me. And it's getting worse the older I get. I gave them the traditional 'I'm happy for you and can't wait to meet the baby' speech. Hung up the phone or went to lunch and cried.
I will never get pregnant.
I am a trans woman, and I will never get pregnant. To date there have been no successful uterus transplants for women like me. To be clear, it's not just about having and raising a child. It's the experience that I'm missing the most. The feeling of the baby growing, the changes to your body, these are experiences that are uniquely cisgender female. Maybe one day that will not be the case; today, tomorrow, and the foreseeable future it is.
I'm also 34. An age when most cisgender women typically don't have children anymore. My friends are 32 and 33 respectively. They are great mothers to their current children, and I am sure will be to their new babies.
My friend from college, this will be her and her husbands fifth child. After her third child, we went shopping together, and she was lamenting about how pregnancy had changed her body. How hard it was to lose the baby weight, having to buy shoes in larger sizes because they grew for the first time since middle school, and how she hated the stretch marks. When I said I would wear those stretch marks with pride she looked at me bewildered. I told her I would have no problem wearing a bikini with all the stretch marks and baby cellulite showing. It took a quick second, then it clicked. I would never be able to complain about those things.
It taught both of us a lesson, that what we each see as problems, others only wish they were dealing with them. This post is a long reminder to myself not to complain, and don't misunderstand I am not complaining about my life. Just a reminder though that some days are tougher than others.
Today I am in my feelings, hard. It doesn't help that is has rained the last three days, and is likely to rain again today. On top of that two of my friends (one from college, and one at work) recently found out they were pregnant. Both were not planned, but both are excited.
To each of their credit, they down played it when we spoke as they know how sensitive of a subject this is for me. And it's getting worse the older I get. I gave them the traditional 'I'm happy for you and can't wait to meet the baby' speech. Hung up the phone or went to lunch and cried.
I will never get pregnant.
I am a trans woman, and I will never get pregnant. To date there have been no successful uterus transplants for women like me. To be clear, it's not just about having and raising a child. It's the experience that I'm missing the most. The feeling of the baby growing, the changes to your body, these are experiences that are uniquely cisgender female. Maybe one day that will not be the case; today, tomorrow, and the foreseeable future it is.
I'm also 34. An age when most cisgender women typically don't have children anymore. My friends are 32 and 33 respectively. They are great mothers to their current children, and I am sure will be to their new babies.
My friend from college, this will be her and her husbands fifth child. After her third child, we went shopping together, and she was lamenting about how pregnancy had changed her body. How hard it was to lose the baby weight, having to buy shoes in larger sizes because they grew for the first time since middle school, and how she hated the stretch marks. When I said I would wear those stretch marks with pride she looked at me bewildered. I told her I would have no problem wearing a bikini with all the stretch marks and baby cellulite showing. It took a quick second, then it clicked. I would never be able to complain about those things.
It taught both of us a lesson, that what we each see as problems, others only wish they were dealing with them. This post is a long reminder to myself not to complain, and don't misunderstand I am not complaining about my life. Just a reminder though that some days are tougher than others.
