I Have Ptsd
I moved states away from family and friends many years ago. I remember I would go visit for a week and I would arrive home pretty messed up. I would be so sick and it would last for weeks. I just didn't understand it.
One day, I went back home to attend my son's graduation. I spoke to a few family members and they were prepared when I arrived. I need protection when I arrive in the state and that has been the case for many years. I can normally keep hidden and no one knows I am there until I leave.
What is the problem? I have an ex that wants to harm me. I fear for my life.
I remember the first time I found out I had PTSD was when I went to my son's graduation. My brother was driving. I was a passenger in the vehicle but I do not remember anything. I felt as if I was in a tunnel, I could hear voices but they did not sound right, I felt as if I was some where else. I remember my brother spoke to me but I did not hear him. I was lost in some horrible place. Then he said: " Are you ok? You are so white and your eyes look like they are going to pop out." I do not remember any of it. He told me later.
The feelings for me or so intense. The fear of all the abuse I suffered and the mental manipulation control me. I started working on overcoming PTSD a year and a half ago.
I thought I was doing so well. I have many, many good days.
I traveled to my home state this year and I did not suffer any issues with my PTSD, but then again, I did not venture out too much. I was around safe people that could protect me.
Friday, which was yesterday, the unexpected happened. A phone call came in from a man and he was livid. He is not even our client, but he proceeded to blast me. I tried to calm him down and tried to help him with his issue, but he would not allow me. It was obvious that he was not going to let me talk. He continued nonstop, giving me verbal abuse. I immediately went back to the past abuse. When, I realized that he was not going to control himself, I handed the call to someone else. Amazingly, the called became very docile when I connected him to another man.
The rest of the day was tough on me. I immediately called the person helping me deal with my PTSD. She started helping me deal with the aftermath of it. Today I was better. It no longer stays with me for weeks on end. No matter, I would not wish this on anyone.
One day, I went back home to attend my son's graduation. I spoke to a few family members and they were prepared when I arrived. I need protection when I arrive in the state and that has been the case for many years. I can normally keep hidden and no one knows I am there until I leave.
What is the problem? I have an ex that wants to harm me. I fear for my life.
I remember the first time I found out I had PTSD was when I went to my son's graduation. My brother was driving. I was a passenger in the vehicle but I do not remember anything. I felt as if I was in a tunnel, I could hear voices but they did not sound right, I felt as if I was some where else. I remember my brother spoke to me but I did not hear him. I was lost in some horrible place. Then he said: " Are you ok? You are so white and your eyes look like they are going to pop out." I do not remember any of it. He told me later.
The feelings for me or so intense. The fear of all the abuse I suffered and the mental manipulation control me. I started working on overcoming PTSD a year and a half ago.
I thought I was doing so well. I have many, many good days.
I traveled to my home state this year and I did not suffer any issues with my PTSD, but then again, I did not venture out too much. I was around safe people that could protect me.
Friday, which was yesterday, the unexpected happened. A phone call came in from a man and he was livid. He is not even our client, but he proceeded to blast me. I tried to calm him down and tried to help him with his issue, but he would not allow me. It was obvious that he was not going to let me talk. He continued nonstop, giving me verbal abuse. I immediately went back to the past abuse. When, I realized that he was not going to control himself, I handed the call to someone else. Amazingly, the called became very docile when I connected him to another man.
The rest of the day was tough on me. I immediately called the person helping me deal with my PTSD. She started helping me deal with the aftermath of it. Today I was better. It no longer stays with me for weeks on end. No matter, I would not wish this on anyone.
