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I Am Going to Say Something Controversial

Gonna play the devil's advocate for Nice Guys/incels...

Many people making fun of/criticizing Nice Guys and incels don't seem to realize that a lot of them (I honestly think most of them) haven't always been that way. I think it's pretty understandable to become bitter about certain things if you keep making bad experiences with them, which in the case of Nice Guys/incels is not being able to find a partner, whatever the reason for that may be.
I can say one thing for sure though; it's [b]not[/b] because they're not nice. Sure, once a guy has become one he's quite the opposite, but he probably didn't start out like that.
The core issue is deeply rooted in our society which often portrays and treats relationships like that wonderful thing everyone needs in order to survive, so it really isn't a surprise that people want to be in one, and while for some it's not an issue to find someone, others struggle a lot with it.
Instead of making fun of Nice Guys/incels and portraying them as those oh-so-evil subhumans, people should try to understand their psyche, what has made them that way and what could be done about it. You never know what others have been through in their lives, so maybe treat them with compassion rather than hostility.
SW-User
You don't get a free pass to be a toxic asshole just because you've had a hard time. This is why we don't forgive serial killers just because they might have been abused as children. Sympathy is afforded for as long as you remain worthy of it. When you become hateful and bitter you lose the right. People just don't have time to be shit on by those who have nothing by poison up add to the world.
SW-User
@Emosaur The comparison is that being unlikeable makes you unlikeable and at that point not many people will take the time to try and understand you because they have their own problems. If you want sympathy and understanding then you have to give people a reason to care.
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SW-User
@Emosaur Sure, I understand that good people can be broken and often through no fault of their own. The sympathy for that only remains for as long as they remain good people. Most people are drawn to positivity, not negativity. Negativity is exhausting and it is toxic, it pulls people in and chokes them. People just don't want that in their lives and hence incels will be spurned because they have let defeatism and toxicity become their home.
Myzery · 41-45, F
Nobody has ever wanted me. And I have managed to not become as hateful as some of the things that I have seen. At some point, they are responsible for what they become. So, as far as I am concerned, they have chosen their path. I mean, I understand why they feel like they do, but I cannot understand the way they choose to express their feelings.
Myzery · 41-45, F
@Emosaur But, at some point, everyone has to choose how to be. If they choose to be victims of their circumstances, it's still a choice. Plenty of people in the world have evolved around their surroundings.

And by no means am I saying that I am superior. I too have decided to be a victim of my own circumstances. But I don't believe that people should tolerate shitty behavior from me just because of that. I could be a much better person than I currently am with some hard work, will power and determination. But I chooses not to.
Probably because I know that I still wouldn't get laid. 😂😂😂
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Myzery · 41-45, F
@Emosaur You cannot change how you feel, only the way you choose to react about how you feel.

Again, not trying to be preachy. I choose horrible reactions to my feelings.
I am just hoping that since you're young, you can be smarter than I was.
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
A relationship isn't needed to survive, like food or shelter. It's another big lie. Single people are not inferior to people in relationships.
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uncalled4 · 56-60, M
@Emosaur agreed. It's steeped in our culture, and I think it's damaging.

 
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