I Am Upset

What!? Am I suppose to be happy that I can’t be with the person that I love!? That the fear of being alone holds me so strong that I can’t leave the comfort zone of my living situation!? That at this rate I’ll prob just end up settling with someone who doesn’t deserve me and will forever have that longing for my love who will forever be out of my reach!? My unrequited love will turn me cold and eventually it will just be a foggy entanglement of lost choices and begrudging mishaps. Part of me wishes so bad I dove off the edge of the Venice pier last year and let the waves carry me out to sea. Let the temperate waves race through my hairs and grace my scalp with a cool felt bliss. I’d bob and let the waves do as they pleased. It’d be better than being tormented by my slow demise on land. Such a joke; this life is. I want a good turn to it all. When will I win!?.... 👀 Just to clarify: the whole jumping off the pier bit isn’t death (the pier isn’t high enough anyway lol) it’s more of a jump off and not care where I’ll end up kind of thing; drift into an abyss- *sigh* 😏 it was what I was secretly imagining as the friends and family we brought down there were admiring the actual view 🌬 🌊🌊🌊