I Am Lonely

I try hard and really try to change myself, but I can't change because of my ego, my lackings and my shortcomings. I have always been told that I am no good. I thought that they were wrong. They , means, mom, dad,family, cousins and relatives. But lately I am seeing the reality that the problems with me. I am an unfortunate kid . Since I remember my first memory of life, I have been very shy, shy is a word which actually means for me is, that I have been so scared to do anything Outta rules that I became stagnant. I have been alone since my childhood and I have been bullied and tortured by my family and friends because of my weight, or anything else. It's a trauma in my mind. Now my personality is so shitty, that I can't possibly go out in people. I am straightforward and don't like to lie or be with fakes and can't handle drama. I say in front and it hurts others. Maybe that's why am still lonely and everyone enjoys hurting me too. Lol.
All in all am a shit person and deserve it.

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blueumbrella · 31-35, F

When you want to change yourself for others or for being accepted by others, it will take too much effort and eventually you won't make it coz that's not who you are. You can pretend to be outgoing and talkative kind of person, but it will only exhaust you. Trust me, i've tried all that. If they don't understand who you are, or how you are (shy, introvert) it's their loss. Don't change yourself for others. You just need to accept yourself as you are. My mom still tells me too much that i should be more outgoing, i should attend some family functions and all that, but i stand by who i am. I don't like going out, i'm introvert, i prefer staying in. Once in a while i do as she tells me to, but then most of the times i stand by myself. Even the weight aspect, first you need to accept yourself as you are, then it would be easier. Change for yourself if you want to, but don't change for approval from others.

notaregularguy · 26-30, M

@blueumbrella: thank you. But, it's really hard when u got responsibilities and grave circumstances.

bgeginny · 36-40, F

You just gotta get over it. Don't think about things so much, don't expect people to care about your feelings; it might seem like everyone else out there has their shit together and is happy, but they're all just figuring it out.

The only thing that you can control is you, and you weren't put on this planet to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Do what you have to do to become the person you want to be.

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