I Am Lonely

I have struggled with loneliness my entire life. I'm naturally an introvert which makes it more difficult to just "get out there" and make friends. To make matters far worse, I did not marry my best friend. I married for the wrong reasons. My wife and I are mere house mates, sharing a house, sleeping in separate bedrooms, leading very separate lives.

I look at coworkers and acquaintances around me with envy. The ones who lead very active lives outside of work. The ones who talk about hiking with this friend, meeting up for lunch with that friend, going to some meeting with other friends. I just get to come home to a house that's more like a mortuary than it is a home.

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SW-User

Why don’t you divorce? Life is short.

bobrido · 56-60, M

@SW-User That thought has been crossing my mind more and more over the past six or seven years. More so when I come home from work and the place is like a crypt because my daughter and grandaughter are gone and my wife is....well.....in bed. Again. This is not the life I envisioned at my age.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

Fix it if you can or get a divorce and figure out a way to make some friends. You are, as you say, living in a spiritual mortuary. It can only get better from here.

bobrido · 56-60, M

@greenmountaingal Fear is my enemy. Fear of being alone. Fear of losing the relationship I've built up with her granddaughter. However, as it is now, I'm pretty much alone when I come home. I'm pretty much alone when I get out to do things I enjoy. So.....what is it that I fear again? Hmmmmmm.........

iamnikki · 31-35, F

Yikes. Why do you think your life turned out that way? Other than being introverted in nature? Im introverted as well

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bobrido · 56-60, M

@iamnikki I plan on it. It's a lot better than coming home to a virtual mortuary.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@bobrido have you talked with her about your feelings?

bobrido · 56-60, M

@iamnikki Years ago, yes. All she did was turn the tables on me and started flinging crap at me. I started to shut down then eventually shut her out

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