I Have Bad Mood Swings

It's no secret that I slip in and out of depression.
Isn't it funny how I can go from feeling calm and mellow to feeling sad and overwhelmed?
Luckily I've earned my GED, which gave me a wee bit of confidence but for some reason I still feel like a total failure, a nobody, and a loser!
I can't deal with this illness anymore.
I'm so tired of fighting for happiness.
I've ran out of hope and I'm mentally drained.
How can I possibly win this battle?

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mljenkins · 51-55, F

And when you feel like that it is hard to hear that happiness is a choice and you probably don't even know what that means. I would think to myself that I don't choose to feel like this, to think like this. It is maddening. This disease really sucks the life out of me and I wish there was a happy side. These days I am lucky to just feel okay on any given day.