I Battle Depression

Closing curtains,
doors..
Hiding in the room,
away from the world,
from everyone..
So tired of everything..
Wanting to break or destroy something
i stay away from people
not wanting to hurt them..

and i know,
the one thing that needs breaking
is me..
i need to fall
and shatter
into pieces..

How do i break off of myself?
prisoned in the invisible walls of my own mind,
i'm not so good as they think i am,
i'm not so good as i make them believe i am,
i'm not so good as i make myself believe i am..

at times like this
i feel dead,
i want to sit at a graveyard or cemetery
and watch those bodies burn
coz i burn within
and all i can do is write..

i feel dead
not the beauty that life is..

..like a fallen
decaying leaf..