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I Battle Depression

It has been a bad day. I woke up hurting and ended up cutting myself this morning. I still struggled to get through the day. I’ve been in this numb haze yet feeling on the verge of tears all day, but was unable to cry at all. Now I am completely numb, empty, dead inside. I am experiencing depersonalization. I hate it. I would rather feel pain than nothing at all. It’s like I just don’t exist in this world. I am on the outside looking in. I am just not a part of it. I have been struggling with feeling the need to cut myself again tonight just to make myself feel again. Sleep won’t even come tonight, despite taking some medicine so I can’t even get a temporary escape that way. I just want to make it all end, put myself out of my own misery.
Tugasaki · 61-69, M
I hope things get better for you, I feel the same way myself and I'm 56 years old ,not sure I will reach 57 to be honest, and yet I see how young you are and how far you got to go in life I have no advice or good solutions to follow but to wish you well and happiness that you do find something to hold onto,and someone in life to grab you and swing you out of this rut your in and love you till you retire. Every ones wish right. Stay strong.
Hang in. Depression often gets better.
I hope you can find some relief from your pain. I'm looking for it, myself. This isn't a life.

 
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