I Battle Depression

this is my first post on this site so I feel like I can let some things off my chest. I feel like I’m so so alone at the moment I have beautiful children a partner and a family around me but I don’t think they see how I feel inside I’m just a false shell on the outside. I feel like numerous things have built up to make me feel this way I feel like I am constantly worrying about my child in my previous relationship I always miss him and never stop thinking about him I see him every week but I just still constantly miss him. I feel like my partner isn’t very supportive of me she always has comments about me and makes me feel like I am not a good enough dad to my children she thinks I love my child from my previous relationship more then the children I have with her which is not true one bit I love all my children the same it’s just hard sometimes and she doesn’t understand that I miss my other child and don’t get to see him as much as she doesn’t live with me but she doesn’t understand she just thinks I’m a terrible father my kids have a nice home I try get them all the things I can granted sometimes I buy my self some things but I’d never see any of my kids go without. I just feel like The relationship is breaking down and feel so down and sad I worry how I would cope on my own and when I see my children. I feel so racked with guilt as I didn’t handle the end to my previous relationship in the best way and that was wrong of me I have grown up so much since then and realised how I handled things was wrong but I still feel somethings not right even no me and my ex partner get on fine. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and no one can see it I feel in such a rush to buy a house and get money saved for my children’s future even no I’m only very young and have plenty of time to save. I have the best family anyone could ask for they are very supportive and even at my worst times are still always there for me I just don’t no how to explain it and they will not see it as I feel I just can not talk to them I just feel so alone I feel like getting up and just running away to somewere far away that’s how I feel everyday. Every time I wake up that is how it is. I just don’t no what’s best for me to do no more I don’t no how to cope sometimes with things I feel so under pressure all the time and I don’t no why. I feel a little more relaxed writing all this and venting it out. Is anyone else out there feeling in some what the same way.