I Battle Depression
28/08/2018
I am reasonably normal, but ever so often I break and I have a day when my arms and legs are heavy as led and I have a stinging sensation in my chest. I have to ride it out because if I ignore it, it can overwhelm me at any moment like a panic attack. So I encourage myself to dive into the pit that is my anxiety and experience it.
I listen to a Youtube playlist called "Little cloud of No"there are 68 songs of sad, emotional, numb songs on it and just try and feel everything that's threatening to overtake me.
Today I have already bitten all my nails down way too short so they are a bit painful and I have pulled at the skin around them so typing is not the nicest feeling...
I have been looking to remember what the name of the website was for a while (it was experience project)but it has been shut down. This is why I am here because I need a way to keep track of this shit without my family or friends being able to access it or find it by accident.
I am currently at work and today I might've stayed at home cos I have been useless today - nothing gets through the torrent of dark that's swirling around my head however if I try to take a mental health day off I will be criticized and ridiculed by family and work.
I'm Fine.
I am Fine.
I just need to go watch a sad film...or a horror film to scare the shit outta me.
I am reasonably normal, but ever so often I break and I have a day when my arms and legs are heavy as led and I have a stinging sensation in my chest. I have to ride it out because if I ignore it, it can overwhelm me at any moment like a panic attack. So I encourage myself to dive into the pit that is my anxiety and experience it.
I listen to a Youtube playlist called "Little cloud of No"there are 68 songs of sad, emotional, numb songs on it and just try and feel everything that's threatening to overtake me.
Today I have already bitten all my nails down way too short so they are a bit painful and I have pulled at the skin around them so typing is not the nicest feeling...
I have been looking to remember what the name of the website was for a while (it was experience project)but it has been shut down. This is why I am here because I need a way to keep track of this shit without my family or friends being able to access it or find it by accident.
I am currently at work and today I might've stayed at home cos I have been useless today - nothing gets through the torrent of dark that's swirling around my head however if I try to take a mental health day off I will be criticized and ridiculed by family and work.
I'm Fine.
I am Fine.
I just need to go watch a sad film...or a horror film to scare the shit outta me.
