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I Battle Depression

I fight depression everyday. All I do is watch TV, do the dishes, go to work and scroll on this site. I want to do so much more with my life yet I cant seem to get up and do it. Leaving the house to do grocery shopping or hang out with friends takes so much out of me. I can hardly focus on anything. I try so hard to be happy all the time. I want to get therapy and help to work through my issues but I am so terrified of being disappointed and knowing that I am beyond help. Beyond redemption. I'm also terrified that my therapist will judge me unfairly and give poor advice. So I'd be short money on top of feeling broken. Nothing seems to help
YeuxNoirs · 31-35, F
I understand what you're saying completely as I have dealt with depression since my pre-teen years. I still relapse sometimes (for a short period of days) and it's a difficult situation. But, I know how to deal with it now. The important thing is to want to get better.

A good therapist might or might not help. Sometimes all we need is to talk to someone, a complete stranger, about what is bothering us, what makes us sad, and listening to their point of view. Other times it is us, ourselves, who hold us back and prevent us from moving forward and getting out of that hole.

You have to find out, maybe make a list, of the reasons why you are feeling the way you feel. Then make another list on what you can do to change that.

We all have our battles we need to fight. Just don't give up!
AnnaKarenina · 31-35, F
Awh, I feel you. The hardest part is getting out there, and the disappointment that may come from not enjoying forcing oneself to try to be more upbeat. Jogging almost always helps me, but the problem is getting myself outside. I think trying to be happy all the time might be what's making you feel worse. Happiness is an emotion. It's temporary, so expecting to be happy against all odds is unrealistic and will make you judge yourself/be harder on yourself for it. Accepting some down time, time for being sad, and treating yourself kindly when it happens has been helpful for me. Do you find it hard to make friends where you live? That is the #1 problem that I'm having, and the isolation/depression comes from loneliness. I'm kind of stuck in this situation until I move because it's just not the best city for making close friends. Loads of flaky or insincere people :/ It's okay to not always be happy, and it's okay to have a few bad days. It doesn't mean you're a disappointment or are beyond help. It's a slow process, so judging/evaluating yourself based on a short period of trying isn't going to make you feel good because it takes time to yield noticeable results. I hope things get better for you!
ScarletMina · 56-60, F
Energy breeds energy. Step one is to unplug the television and get moving. If you can, put it into a closet or attic. This frees up your mind and body to focus on other things. You brain and tour body will naturally be more exercised. Step two is to buy Emergen-C and treat your body to extra vitamins and minerals. In days you will notice a huge difference in your energy and your outlook on life.
SweetMae · 70-79, F
I don't believe that anyone is beyond redemption.
Canicu69 · 70-79, M
Watching TV is depressing in it's self. Get off your ass and go do something productive. I know go volunteer at a homeless shelter. It is a positive way of helping your community, you will see people much worse off than you are, it gets you out of the house.

Smile and the world smiles with you...weep and you weep alone !
You are not beyond help. Trust me. I would recommend finding a good doctor. Also, combining meds and counseling can be helpful. There is no overnight fix and it takes time and a lot of work but you are stronger than you think.
Tminus6453 · M
If you refuse to get professional help you need to force yourself to get up and do something with yourself,, start exercising and find a hobby to take your mind off of things
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
Two things that have helped me: Swimming for an hour every day. And taking 2 capsules of holy basil every day. You've got my empathy. Depression is tough and hard to fight. Hope you feel better.
bhatjc · 46-50, M
True to that.

 
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