I Hate Waiting

I've noticed a recurring theme in my behavior. For as long as I can remember, I've always hated whatever it was that I was stuck doing. School, jobs, socializing, even playing games. I always think to myself, [i]when will this be over? When can I go back to doing nothing? When can I go back to being alone?[/i]

I think that what I want isn't really to go home and to do whatever it is that I do in my own solitude -- why would I be so restless every time I finally get there? Instead, I subconsciously want to die. I don't want to wait and suffer through the rest of this little rollercoaster. I just want it all to end so I can stop wondering when I can go back to being nothing.