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How do I give my brother some food for thought about his son without seeming like a holier than thou dork ?

Here's the thing : his son is about 6 and his school teachers are recommending that my brother give him Ritalin to help him focus.
Although what I see is that his kids are addicted to sugar. My bro makes lots of money and his kids have everything they could want and more. This includes a kitchen full of sugary things. When I walk into their kitchen the smell of sugar hits me straight away and my mind wants it. The cupboards are full of every sugary thing that you could want.
I suspect that this is affecting his son's ability to concentrate and I'm worried that Ritalin will be doping his mind just to counteract the constant sugar rush.
On the other hand his wife is really large because she uses sugary foods all day long as comfort food because she is stressed. So she is basically setting the example for their kids. I do sympathise with her though.
He is in an awkward situation and I don't want to stick my nose into it and cause trouble. I'm concerned for the wellbeing of his son though because he has great potential. He needs to stop eating sugar in my opinion for his own good.

What do you think ? Give the kid Ritalin or discipline the kid and his mother to stop the sugar addiction ?
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
Those kinds of drugs should only be used when everything else has been exhausted. Putting kids on that stuff because the parent is too lazy to modify the kids diet and try behavior techniques is a poor excuse. There are certainly kids who do need it and it works but too many parents are quick to drug their kid because it’s the easiest way to deal with it and some even like the drama of having a “difficult” child.
SW-User
@Keepitsimple and if that doesn't shut him up, it's time for the Risperdal!
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@Keepitsimple Thanks for your opinion, I appreciate it.
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
You’re in a bad position because you want to help but it may not be what they want to hear or do. :( @Wraithorn
Spitbak · 56-60, M
🤨Youre right,it's the sugar and doping his youngster up will make him worse!Best bet is the brutal truth!Step up and tell him!Nothing like this is ever easy to do but it has to be done!This is one of them hard choice moments in your life!I wish you well!👍️
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@Spitbak Yeah...it's a difficult adult moment isn't it ?
Spitbak · 56-60, M
🤔Actually,one of your hardest considering the conflict it may cause!@Wraithorn
JimminyChristmas · 56-60, M
It's family, speak your mind!! You are coming from a place of caring, so what you say should be acceptable. You are justified in your concern.
My sister's son was tested at a genius level, until they put him on drugs... now he's just like every other stupid child.😠 It pisses me off! They are babies!! They should NOT be taking chemicals that fuck up their body and mind! It's NOT OK just because everyone else does it. Call him out, giving the child drugs is the lazy way out! Tell him to be a proper father and defend the well being of his children.
Be forewarned, my sister no longer speaks to me, but I had to let my thoughts be known.
In her own words, "It's easier..." 😡 Selfish and lazy.
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@JimminyChristmas Thank you for your honest opinion and experience with this. Much appreciated. This is one of those adult moments that I don't like. I can see what to do but it's a difficult thing.
SW-User
Obviously your brother told you about his son because he's concerned about him. So I see no problem in you telling him that you did some research and think if he changes his son's sugary diet, it could have an impact on his health and do much better in school without drugs. Too much sugar makes kids hyper and brats. I have seen kids go from super sweet to little demons after eating sugar, especially chocolate. You just might save your nephew from years of stress and being behind in school. His attention span will improve in school with a more nutritious diet. I say go for it.👍
SW-User
Lol Do you have kids? Another idea is to just put out good food like a buffet or have a picnic with him. Find delicious kid friendly recipes and when you eat say oh this is sooo yummy. And then say, sorry you can't have any, it's all mine. hehehe Then he might beg you for some. I do that with stubborn kids. It works. Or entice him by saying if you take a bite, I'll take you to a playground, etc.
Even offering raisins is healthier than candy. There's lots of tricks out there to get kids to try something healthy. And it won't happen overnight. Keep offering everytime you see him. Put bananas on popsicle sticks, etc.@Wraithorn
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@SW-User I do have a daughter who is now 26 yrs old. She is getting married in November.
However...you have inadvertently touched on another reason why me speaking to my bro about his kid is a touchy subject.
Due to me being a pathetic dumbass, cowardly and various other things when I was younger, I only got to know my daughter when she was 12.
I saw her the day she was born and then only again when she was 12 and I never even considered marrying her mother. To my credit I did give her mother monthly payments voluntarily but that doesn't really make up for being a pathetic dumbass.
So....my bro will most likely say,"But you didn't even raise your own kid !"
And he would be right. I don't have a leg to stand on.
SW-User
But you do have a relationship with your daughter now and that's what counts. We are not our past because of the mistakes we made in our youth. We grew from them. I'm sure your brothers past isn't perfect either.@Wraithorn
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Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@kingkyri Thanks for that. I'm just worried that I shouldn't be sticking my nose into his business. How is his son going to stop eating so much sugar without his wife also stopping ?
Therein lies the problem I think. I don't want to be contributing towards his marriage problems.
its tough to sit by and watch while parents screw up a kids life. but, if you get involved in their business, you may be creating even more problems between you and your brother. hate to see a kid begin on a road to what will probably lead to diabetes though.
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@SheCallsMeCrushDaddy Much appreciated. Thanks for your thoughts.
ThePerfectUsername · 70-79, M
[c=#BF0000]It takes a village to raise a child[/c], ergo your concern and input is totally justified if not downright required. Nobody knows everything - but the effects of sugar rushes (especially on kids) and the harmful negative effects of eating too much sugar over extended periods are widely enough known nowadays that collecting a few relevant medically authorised pamphlets and handing them to the dad with a simple "why don't you try this" might be enough to persuade him give it a go before he feels compelled to pull out the big guns.
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@ThePerfectUsername Thanks for your thoughts bro. I appreciate it. It's true about the village helping but modern life I think has changed that.
ThePerfectUsername · 70-79, M
Modern life is so messed up and uninformed about meeting people's needs maybe it's time we all took a step back and worked for the common good for a change. @Wraithorn
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@ThePerfectUsername Indeed. There are probably doctors now who will give you medication for that common good thing. 🙂
SW-User
idk about the sugar, but his teachers are not doctors and I don't think that giving crank to children is a good idea regardless.
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@SW-User Thanks for commenting. 'preciate it.
TexChik · F
When it’s that important , does it really matter?
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@TexChik Well I'm no sugar expert so I might be causing trouble unnecessarily. So I'm just interested in what others think.
Shayla · F
I would suggest getting the child tested by doctors. Teachers can not prescribe medication. The doctors can determine if there is a medical need, and often recommend various lifestyle changes to help.
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@Shayla Alright, thanks for that. I'm just wondering how intervene without seeming like I'm pointing fingers.
Shayla · F
@Wraithorn I have a kid who is on Ritalin, unfortunately. Before we got to that point he had been seeing an occupational therapist and we spent 20 hours a week working with behavioral therapists and trying different options. Did you know that those same behaviors can be caused by red food coloring? Or by the kid not sleeping well enough? Or by lashing out over past abuse?
We really have tried everything before resorting to strong medications.

As for how to talk to the parents, I would leave that up to the doctors. Feel free to mention that you have read about a few lifestyle changes which might help, but be sure sugar isn't the first or only one you mention.
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@Shayla Alright, thank you for being open and honest. I think maybe I should suggest that my bro has a chat with people like yourself who have a similar challenge.
I know that doctors can have different opinions on this so speaking to as many people as possible might help.
On the other hand it might be difficult to advertise the fact that his kid might need Ritalin. It's all a bit awkward but thanks for your input.
curiosi · 61-69, F
I agree with you, thing is people don't like opinions until they are ready to hear it. They aren't ready until they ask for it.
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@curiosi I'll take that into consideration, thanks.
SW-User
I know you have great intentions and I agree with you, but really it's just not your business
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@SW-User Thank you for your honest opinion. I will consider that.
to try a natural way is better
MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M
It makes you sound like a retard mate.
MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M
@Wraithorn You're making a wild assumption that he needs to cut out sugar.

However your brother sounds just as retarded since he follows teachers recommendations rather than a doctors.
Wraithorn · 51-55, M
@MartinTheFirst I see...
Truth is my bro has not done it yet. He is still thinking about it. I was just wondering about how to give my opinion without offending him or his wife.
His son visibly becomes hyperactive when consuming sugar. I am not just assuming things.
You're not a parent though so I'll obviously take what you say with a pinch of salt.
Thanks for adding activity to my question though.
MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M
@Wraithorn Take him to a doctor.

 
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