I Have a Mental Illness

I Have...... I have been told I have depression, bi-polar, anxiety. Some say just depression. Idk, I gave up on therapy and medication. I get emotional alot. If I'm stressed out. I kinda go all hulk, throw things across the room, scream at the top of my lungs. Then maybe an hour or two later, if that. I'm me again. I'm really not a violent type of person, just sometimes I get overwelmed and have no way of letting it out.
Other times my depression rules my life. I put myself down constantly, and hate myself, especially today, I'm so clumsy I spilled my coffee twice, just on my leg, lovely.
anyways, sometimes when my family talks to me or about me. I feel like I'm on some MTV reality show. I don't like to talk about my feelings and I shut them out, and blah blah blah. I mean its true, but sometimes that just upsets me more.
Mentall Illness runs deep in my family, so my twin sister has a bit of it too, and we are constantly fighting. But there are days I can look through my depression and have the best day possible, others, its just such a buzz kill.