I Had a Premature Baby
It weighs so heavy on my heart...as I write this I'm sitting by her bedside.
My daughter was born on August 11th 2017. That was two months and two days ago, she has yet to leave the hospital. Everyday I'd visit her and everyday I'd see her get a little bit better. She was born with hydrops, that's when you accumulate liquid throughout your body. It was in her head, her chest, her lungs...when she was born (or rather extracted as I had a cesarean.) six weeks early I wasn't to worried, six weeks is nothing right? Evidently not. As they cut her out of me I laid there thinking "Okay, she's going to come out and cry." That was not the case. They pulled her out and I remember only catching a slight glipse of my poor swollen, silent baby. She was grey and limp, tears ran from my eyes as I was stiched back up and she was given chest compressions. She was taken to the hospital one city over in an ambulance because the facilities where she was born were not equiped for a baby so sick. No one thought she would survive the night.
Fast forward to almost a month later. She got off of her ventilator, all of the three chest tubes that were in her to extract the liquid were out (She went from 7lbs. 9oz. To 4lbs. 6oz. That means she lost 3lbs. 3oz. Of liquid.), and she's working on getting off of her vitamins and fats from an IV. I finally got to hold her a couple days later. How sad is that? I didn't get to hold my baby until she was nearly a month old...that was probably the most amazing moment though, she was so tiny and perfect. I've never loved someone or something so much in my entire life.
A few days later she got an infection, it was in her central nervous system, that means it was in her spinal fluid and her brain. But she dealt with that just like everything else, like it was no big deal. A bit after that she got off of her IV and her oxygen. All she had left was to learn how to eat then she could go home. Poor girl would throw up day and night. She'd go a day without any incidents but then the next she'd throw up practically after every feed. About a week ago they figured out her intestines were malrotated, that's exactly how it sounds, they weren't in the correct places. Two days ago she had surgery to correct this, she was placed on a ventilator again but thankfully they were able to take it out the next morning. She has an oxygen tube in her nose (yet again.), and an IV again for vitamins and fats. I just witnessed her vomit from her mouth and nose and cry incessantly from either pain, anger or perhaps both. The worst part of all of this is she doesn't understand why she's having to be poked and have things shoved up her nose again. As far as she's concerned this is torture and it's by no means fair. I just wish we could stop going backwards and running into all of these bumps. She doesn't belong in a hospital, she belongs with her mother.
My daughter was born on August 11th 2017. That was two months and two days ago, she has yet to leave the hospital. Everyday I'd visit her and everyday I'd see her get a little bit better. She was born with hydrops, that's when you accumulate liquid throughout your body. It was in her head, her chest, her lungs...when she was born (or rather extracted as I had a cesarean.) six weeks early I wasn't to worried, six weeks is nothing right? Evidently not. As they cut her out of me I laid there thinking "Okay, she's going to come out and cry." That was not the case. They pulled her out and I remember only catching a slight glipse of my poor swollen, silent baby. She was grey and limp, tears ran from my eyes as I was stiched back up and she was given chest compressions. She was taken to the hospital one city over in an ambulance because the facilities where she was born were not equiped for a baby so sick. No one thought she would survive the night.
Fast forward to almost a month later. She got off of her ventilator, all of the three chest tubes that were in her to extract the liquid were out (She went from 7lbs. 9oz. To 4lbs. 6oz. That means she lost 3lbs. 3oz. Of liquid.), and she's working on getting off of her vitamins and fats from an IV. I finally got to hold her a couple days later. How sad is that? I didn't get to hold my baby until she was nearly a month old...that was probably the most amazing moment though, she was so tiny and perfect. I've never loved someone or something so much in my entire life.
A few days later she got an infection, it was in her central nervous system, that means it was in her spinal fluid and her brain. But she dealt with that just like everything else, like it was no big deal. A bit after that she got off of her IV and her oxygen. All she had left was to learn how to eat then she could go home. Poor girl would throw up day and night. She'd go a day without any incidents but then the next she'd throw up practically after every feed. About a week ago they figured out her intestines were malrotated, that's exactly how it sounds, they weren't in the correct places. Two days ago she had surgery to correct this, she was placed on a ventilator again but thankfully they were able to take it out the next morning. She has an oxygen tube in her nose (yet again.), and an IV again for vitamins and fats. I just witnessed her vomit from her mouth and nose and cry incessantly from either pain, anger or perhaps both. The worst part of all of this is she doesn't understand why she's having to be poked and have things shoved up her nose again. As far as she's concerned this is torture and it's by no means fair. I just wish we could stop going backwards and running into all of these bumps. She doesn't belong in a hospital, she belongs with her mother.
