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A miserable Morning [I M Depressed]

I lost my dad about 4 months ago in June, now my mom is talking odd because she is pain. She had heard the word death a lot and it is making her depressed. She was told that having back surgery is the best option but if she has it, she'll die. Because of the cutting from the surgery and the anestgial medicine they have to use. Last week my mom went to see her primary doctor for the second time. When my mom mentioned to him about the back surgery, he told my mom that he would not suggest such a thing to her because of her age, she has a small frame body. He said to mom that he would not say to her the things to her that other doctors had said to her like she is going to die and so on then tell her that it is important for her have surgery.

I think I am a little depressed because of the way the doctors had made mom depressed. She saids things that is not logical at times (like this morning and the paramedics were here). Her behavior is so out of control. She gets up in the morning wanting to leave and now she is talking about moving somewhere else. I remember before we moved to this state we are currently living in, my mom really did not want to move here because of reasons but we had a friend who moved here in 1999 and we moved here in 2000. Another reason why I am depressed is because Thanksgiving is this week but it does not seem like Thanksgiving. I am nervous about Christmas because of the fear and anger it may bring. I understand outside situations in the world but it is bothering me more when it come to being here at home.

Damn it feels like I am going to lose my mom if she do not get a grip. My mom is the only parent I have left and now she wants to go.
I do not know if it is grieving or anger mom is experiencing.

Sorry for bothering anyone about my mess. It just hurt so bad at 4:00 am to have to go through a lot. Then asked to go to bed. How could I go to bed when knowing that the police might come to our home because of my mom's emotions and she was the one who called 911.
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plankter979 · 51-55, M
so sorry for what you're going through. Sending hugs.
taLking5 · 51-55, F
@plankter979 Thank you so much for a hug, I really need it.