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A miserable Morning [I M Depressed]

I lost my dad about 4 months ago in June, now my mom is talking odd because she is pain. She had heard the word death a lot and it is making her depressed. She was told that having back surgery is the best option but if she has it, she'll die. Because of the cutting from the surgery and the anestgial medicine they have to use. Last week my mom went to see her primary doctor for the second time. When my mom mentioned to him about the back surgery, he told my mom that he would not suggest such a thing to her because of her age, she has a small frame body. He said to mom that he would not say to her the things to her that other doctors had said to her like she is going to die and so on then tell her that it is important for her have surgery.

I think I am a little depressed because of the way the doctors had made mom depressed. She saids things that is not logical at times (like this morning and the paramedics were here). Her behavior is so out of control. She gets up in the morning wanting to leave and now she is talking about moving somewhere else. I remember before we moved to this state we are currently living in, my mom really did not want to move here because of reasons but we had a friend who moved here in 1999 and we moved here in 2000. Another reason why I am depressed is because Thanksgiving is this week but it does not seem like Thanksgiving. I am nervous about Christmas because of the fear and anger it may bring. I understand outside situations in the world but it is bothering me more when it come to being here at home.

Damn it feels like I am going to lose my mom if she do not get a grip. My mom is the only parent I have left and now she wants to go.
I do not know if it is grieving or anger mom is experiencing.

Sorry for bothering anyone about my mess. It just hurt so bad at 4:00 am to have to go through a lot. Then asked to go to bed. How could I go to bed when knowing that the police might come to our home because of my mom's emotions and she was the one who called 911.
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Moon3624 · 18-21, F
I have lost my parents and oldest sister when I was a very little kid all at once
So I understand what it feels to lose a parent.
It’s a pain that never goes away or disappears..
I’m sorry for your loss and I wish there are enough words out there that could make you feel better I really do.
Knowing we will die one day is what makes life precious. I bet Your father was a great man and he wants you to live happy
It’s not about forgetting or leaving all of this behind
Because that could never happen.
It’s about turning their memories to strength and a smile rather than your cause for depression.
+
You still have your mom instead of worrying live every minute with her.
Worry is drowning in an empty pool.
And I hope you both live a long and happy life💞
I suggest you give your mother more time
It only been a few months
And for you two to talk about your feelings more and let it out.
taLking5 · 51-55, F
@Moon3624 I am trying with all my might to think about fun things about the holidays. When you said that I should give my mother more time, I do give her time. What I am doing is for the both of us, I do not bring up certain things that will upset my mom, she is the one who'll bring it up but I do not reply. We do talk about our feelings; it people, and stuff and while other people such as doctors effect others when they (the doctors) give information to their patients. Next thing you know the patient is so upset that nothing is excites them. I try to decorate the home but it does not seem to phase her.

I brought up the point about my dad's death because I think about the fact I just lost one parent and trying with all I have to take good care of this one I have left. I do understand why my mother is terribly upset and it is not making me feel any better either. When she goes to the hospital by cab, I will ride along but I am not allowed to go into the ER room with mom, they will have me to sit outside in the waiting room. I d not know what is being discussed in the room.