I Am Going Through a Break-up

He is amazing, kind, gentle, wonderful and loving. WE worked well together. We loved each other. But ultimately it always felt temporary (even after 10 months). Like we were just satisfying each other's immediate needs to not be lonely. I crave physical affection. He gave me that. The thing that finally got to me was that we wanted different things from life. It was a good few months with so many good experiences. But we also went through so much crap together in the short time and we helped each other through it. Now it just feels wrong. I want to find my forever person and I want him to be happy with his. I think he started to take me for granted too. He says I'm "the one", yet I don't feel the same. Maybe I just need some space and in the future things will be different again... I just don't know. My heart feels numb... Thank God for dissociation. Aha.

(First 24 hours no contact after nearly a year of talking every day...)

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Beautywithin · 36-40, F

You helped each other when most needed! Be thankful you crossed paths it's good you've not let it go on for years before realising his not the one! Some people are only meant to be in our lives temporary.

PandorasBox · 31-35, F

@Beautywithin I believe that too. I believe everything happens for a reason... be it from a higher being or just fate

vss1234 · 36-40, M

I went through some what same thing sort of recently. It is very confusing, depressing, but I would say that it is better to get out of such a relation as one day it is going to come undone whatever you do.

PandorasBox · 31-35, F

@vss1234 I'm sorry you went through it but glad I'm not alone. Thanks for your wise words

vss1234 · 36-40, M

@PandorasBox Glad if i could help..

PhoenixPhail · M

It sounds like there's some really good stuff there to salvage. Why not go to counseling together and see if you can find a workable solution?

Good Luck! 🤗

PandorasBox · 31-35, F

@PhoenixPhail I think that some of our demons don't mix well. It is the big things we would compromise on such as me wanting kids and him not (until he met me). I wouldn't want to have kids with someone who never wanted them and then only changed their mind after being with me. I can't guarantee that those feelings will stay. I think...?

PhoenixPhail · M

@PandorasBox Sometimes people change their minds. It could be he might [i]continue[/i] wanting kids, even with a different partner. And, there's no guarantee of [i]anything.[/i]

PandorasBox · 31-35, F

@PhoenixPhail what do you think of the phrase "if it's meant to be it will be"? Do you think maybe in the future if things are different and paths cross and he really was the one it could happen?

lovingdead · 31-35, M

How are you doing with the no contact thus far?

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lovingdead · 31-35, M

@PandorasBox any guesses why that is? When reaching for the stars you risk falling, but at the same time that's 2jat makes them worth it. They make you earn them.

PandorasBox · 31-35, F

My life is pretty much me jumping from one frying pan to another. I've lived through some hellish moments. Heck, just in this last year I've had 4 bereavements in less than 8 months - which has meant that I've had to put my life on hold. But I'm ok. I don't like pity. Pain just gets in my way time and time again. Most of the time it's things out of my control. The only regret I have is what if I've lost the only person who would ever love me?... But then being single is better than wholly depending on someone.

lovingdead · 31-35, M

@PandorasBox I can relate more than I'd like to admit, and ideally you should always have someone to love you, that person being yourself. Yet truthfully I'm a hypocrit. I have the same issues thus I know how heavy they can be

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PandorasBox · 31-35, F

@iamBen I agree.

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