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I Have To Vent

So i just watched the movie 'Equals' and it reminded me of the type of life i'm living. In my view, maybe because i was able to relate with what was happening, i liked it. Like me, i honestly don't know what it feels like to love or be close bodywise with a girl. It's frustrating, but, i can't help but wonder and ask myself why i'm really alive. It's unfortunate that, even when a certain girl who might be interested in me or may want to hug or want to talk to for sometime, if she isn't the girl i would like to talk to at that time,wouldn't be able to talk to her for long, unlike if it was the girl i wanted to talk to. I wish i could just live normally and accept other girls who i may not like and live happily, but, i can't. That's not who i am. There are so many things i've thought of that when maybe i finally like the idea, which is good, it doesn't help me still when it comes to me applying it. The idea is supposed to keep me not lonely and just work everyday. There was one particular statement the girl in the movie made that was just a major part of my life and when i heard it, it just seemed like hearing what i experience. I think a lot. And i think i need to pause on certain things i disturb myself about. I need to be natural with the actions or reactions of people. And that means i need to see people's actions or reactions as never threatening or things that might make me feel unwanted. As nice as some words seem, the real deal is actualizing these words. I might have to be patient with myself. But, i am not settled with certain things i need to know. My life is in such a way that, i know i'm not living for anyone right now. And so i wonder and i ask in my mind, why am i really alive. I wish i had something to live for, but i don't. It seems like, the very need i want, is so pressing that the times i'm supposed to be happy are not always much. I know that there's beauty in this world, but, i can only hope to see it. For those who have found it, i'm glad you have. This is just my vent. It is the reality i try to see if there maybe hope to.
pearllederman · 61-69, F
i feel the same way, i never found it either
RoyX54 · 36-40, M
@pearllederman What didn't you find?
RoyX54 · 36-40, M
@pearllederman I hope and wish that you find it and it makes you happy. I wish you happiness that makes you smile everytime :)
Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M
Revere the paradox!
RoyX54 · 36-40, M
@jackaloftheazuresand I wish it was so easy to find the solution to my scenario. Seems like i need to pause on certain things i worry about and maybe things might improve.
Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M
There is no solution, there is a solution. You make the world, but only if you accept that you are also powerless. Take joy that you know what women you would like to spend time with. This is too vague for me to speak further.
RoyX54 · 36-40, M
@jackaloftheazuresand Thank you :) Something for me to think about. Thanks.

 
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