I Want to Be a Better Person

I am 47 and overweight. I only mention I am overweight because I think it causes me to do less, to sleep more and overall be less productive. I want to be a better person and I find it hard to do. I work hard and a lot. I work in retail and I have to fake a lot of interest in people and their petty issues that are of little or no real consequence in the big scheme of things. I am exhausted after work and beat on my days off. I don't know if I am beat physically or mentally but I know I don't want to do anything. I don't know how to be a better me, do something of real import to the people around me when I am tired and mentally frazzled all the time. I like people, it seems for whatever reason, that I am an easy person to dislike if you don't know me well. It hurts to be rejected when I try to do something positive because the people involved don't want me to participate or be involved. I have been reduced to charitable donations which feel empty.