I Am Lost In Life
Out Of The Frying Pan and Into The Fire:
I though I felt lost before, while we were dating. I thought that it would change once we were apart. That is how I convinced myself to let you go despite my overwhelming love for you. I was wrong. If anything, I am more lost now than ever before.
I know you will most likely never read these letters I write to you. And I know I'll probably never say these things out loud. But I write them anyway. They do still serve a purpose. They allow me to be honest about the way I feel about you. And at the moment I am so lost and confused; I see no other way of coping. I am simply lost without you.
Yesterday, when I saw you again, it stirred things in me that I have been trying to supress this last month and a half. It showed me how much I still love you. It showed me how deeply I still care for you. And above all, it revealed that I will kill for you.
There is no limit to what I find myself capable of these days. Frankly, I am starting to scare myself. I am like a dog with no master. Aimlessly wandering around. You left a void in me that nothing this world has to offer can fill. This has made me dangerous to both myself and everyone around me. I don't know if I can stop it, or even if I want to. You are out of my reach and nothing matters anymore.
For the first time since we broke up, I find myself regretting the decision to leave. I would give anything, do anything to have you in my life again. When it comes to you, I am capable of anything.
How I wish I could stop feeling this way... I'm only managing to hurt myself more by wanting something I can never have.
I though I felt lost before, while we were dating. I thought that it would change once we were apart. That is how I convinced myself to let you go despite my overwhelming love for you. I was wrong. If anything, I am more lost now than ever before.
I know you will most likely never read these letters I write to you. And I know I'll probably never say these things out loud. But I write them anyway. They do still serve a purpose. They allow me to be honest about the way I feel about you. And at the moment I am so lost and confused; I see no other way of coping. I am simply lost without you.
Yesterday, when I saw you again, it stirred things in me that I have been trying to supress this last month and a half. It showed me how much I still love you. It showed me how deeply I still care for you. And above all, it revealed that I will kill for you.
There is no limit to what I find myself capable of these days. Frankly, I am starting to scare myself. I am like a dog with no master. Aimlessly wandering around. You left a void in me that nothing this world has to offer can fill. This has made me dangerous to both myself and everyone around me. I don't know if I can stop it, or even if I want to. You are out of my reach and nothing matters anymore.
For the first time since we broke up, I find myself regretting the decision to leave. I would give anything, do anything to have you in my life again. When it comes to you, I am capable of anything.
How I wish I could stop feeling this way... I'm only managing to hurt myself more by wanting something I can never have.
31-35, F