I Am Annoyed

i went to church yesterday and was mistaken by a female priest, whom i have hardly acquainted there, to be a parent of a child. i was immediately angry and told her that i had not (even) married (and how come i had a child).

i hate that people assume all women should marry and have children by default, this is so disrespectful to female. i hated that she might think i look old and old fashioned enough to be a mother. i am a young professional in my field having just started my life and my career; if i were a male nobody would have problem with me being single and with no wish to get married or have children at my very early 30s.

i was so angry that i wanted to leave immediately. it was 1pm , the Sunday worship ended at 11.30am. she must be stupid to think that the parents who drop their kids for free child care service would stay at 1pm to practice for the worship team (music band).

i told my frds there. one of them later accompanied me for a while to go to a bookstore, and surprisingly gave me some gifts she bought there. i felt grateful for her.

it s true that 1 stupid person does not represent the whole community. i am trying to ignore her despite that she already apologized twice.

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Michael91142 · M

I understand your anger about the maybe nice but also thoughtless remark or question of the female priest. I am sure you put a lot of effort, time and hard work into your apprentic eship or studying and career, so it´s understandable, that it hurt your pride and feelings, as she reduced you only of "being a mother" just because you are a woman in the fitting age for having children. But I do not think she meant it wicked or degrading. She certainly meant it nice and appreciative, for it is not a bad thing to be a mother and have a child or children. :)

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Sssslm · F

@Michael91142: i was bullied at workplaces before. whatever i did, every part of my body/appearance/clothing got judged/interpreted badly without valid/factual reasons.

Michael91142 · M

@Sssslm: Oh, that´s really bad. No wonder, why you are reacting that sensitive about the judgement of the priest. My compassion that you had to go through such a bad time and that you were confronted with such an unjustified and hurtful judgement.

Michael91142 · M

@Sssslm: People should finally learn, to put their noses only into their own businesses.

Livingwell · 61-69, M

I think you are taking an honest mistake way too personally. Especially from a female priest. Nothing malicious was intended. It seems you may have some real anger issues to deal with. You went into a complete rage. If it was me, I would have just smiled and politely corrected her of the misunderstanding. Then moved on thinking nothing of it.

Squizz5 · 51-55, M

Could be the priest made an honest mistake, don't sweat the small stuff, life is too short. Try not not to let one person spoil your day, you give them too much control if you do..

Sssslm · F

@Squizz5: thanks. i am sensitive to gender issue and hate people trying to define or control my life.

Serenitree · F

You sound a little over the top on this topic. I doubt any disrespect was intended. An appropriate response might have been, " I'm not a parent. " I feel your reaction was disproportionate to the simple error. Old and old fashioned enough to be a mother? How old does one need to be a mother, and when did parenthood go out of style.

May 7/17
11:08 pm
EDT

lechatnoir · 22-25, F

Don't let this anger you so much. I agree, females are more than just that, but you have to admit most older women are going to be parents and be married, etc. You do you and you sound like a really cool person.

bhatjc · 46-50, M

Sorry to hear that.

bhatjc · 46-50, M

What woman do is their own business. If they want to have kids not. Sounds like that female priest needs to have her soul checked.

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