I Don't Like Goodbyes

Yaknow, growing up, I never thought that at the age of 20 I would have experienced so much loss in my life. Death is not something that is easily handled. It never gets easier. It never goes away. What I don't understand is how is someone just here and then not? You get so used to being around someone and then one day you have to start getting used to them not being here at all. After all this time It still just makes no sense to me. I don't think it ever will. All I know is my heart is completely broken. Basically goodbyes aren't my thing, especially when it's forever.