I Play With Words
[b]AN EXCITING DAY IN A SMALL PROVINCIAL TOWN, from the local newspaper crime reporter
BREAKING NEWS - REPORTED IT AS IT HAPPENED[/b]
At 7.30 am this morning, it was discovered that thieves had made off with all the toilets in the police station during the night. Police have nothing to go on.
9.30 One toilet bowl has been found. Police are looking into it.
12.00 midday: An inspector makes a statement.
"We have suspects. We found one of the stolen toilets near a derelict building on the edge of town. It's illegally occupied by squatters. These people are squatting as we speak. They're bunged up in there. They're sitting tight. They're on a roll. But we'll pull the chain on them. They'd better mind their pees and queues. They must be clean round the bend if they think we won't disinfect their dirty little outfit!"
Shortly after this press release, the movement began. In operation Lav-Bowl, officers armed with special Krapnikoffs surrounded the building, and flushed out the thieves, recovering the stolen property.
At 4 pm, deprived of their toilets, the thieves went before the bench. (They were instantly required to clean it up.)
In light of the relative mildness of the offence and its speedy resolution, they were each given 100 hours of community service, as lavatory attendants. This was in loo of time in prison.
BREAKING NEWS - REPORTED IT AS IT HAPPENED[/b]
At 7.30 am this morning, it was discovered that thieves had made off with all the toilets in the police station during the night. Police have nothing to go on.
9.30 One toilet bowl has been found. Police are looking into it.
12.00 midday: An inspector makes a statement.
"We have suspects. We found one of the stolen toilets near a derelict building on the edge of town. It's illegally occupied by squatters. These people are squatting as we speak. They're bunged up in there. They're sitting tight. They're on a roll. But we'll pull the chain on them. They'd better mind their pees and queues. They must be clean round the bend if they think we won't disinfect their dirty little outfit!"
Shortly after this press release, the movement began. In operation Lav-Bowl, officers armed with special Krapnikoffs surrounded the building, and flushed out the thieves, recovering the stolen property.
At 4 pm, deprived of their toilets, the thieves went before the bench. (They were instantly required to clean it up.)
In light of the relative mildness of the offence and its speedy resolution, they were each given 100 hours of community service, as lavatory attendants. This was in loo of time in prison.
