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I Played In The Mud

When I was a teenager, about 16 I think, I managed to appear in the audience of a studio-based wildlife TV programme, aimed at young people. It was a fun show with lots of crazy stuff going on, but also informative. On this particular day, somebody had asked how the average animal stays so clean, without using soap or proper washing facilities. Strange question! The presenter decided to pluck two "volunteers" out of the audience to explore ways of getting clean, but this, of course, meant getting dirty first! In the middle of the studio was an enormous tank, full of thick, scary looking brown stuff, that turned out to be mud. I'd noticed it, but hadn't really thought much about it, assuming it was part of an animal's habitat or something (they often had live animals in the studio as part of the show). I suddenly realised that they planned to make some members of the audience have a very muddy time! My mouth went dry as I imagined the humiliation that getting into that mud was going to bring for two poor people!

The first volunteer was a young boy, who wasn't a volunteer at all, he just got pulled out of the audience, but nonetheless, looked delighted about it and was clearly up for his five minutes of fame! The presenter then said about getting one more person, and to make things fair, a female! He started coming towards where I was sitting. I must admit, my heart was in my mouth as he approached, I really didn't want to be muddy. Surely I wasn't going to be dragged out of the audience? He grabbed my arm and said something like "here's our second volunteer" and before I knew it I was standing next to the boy, at the front of the audience, feeling very nervous! I had to get myself caked in ooze in the name of "research.......!"

The presenter explained that in order to test out natural cleaning methods, he wanted us to get really dirty and the way we were going to achieve this was by using the massive tank of mud. To be more specific, he was going to make us actually get into the tank, still wearing our own clothes, and play in the mud! We were going to get completely filthy........ To be fair, he did ask us if we minded doing it, and I had plenty of opportunity to back out. But something about the project lured me in. Thinking about it, I guess having a legitimate reason to jump in the mud and splash around in what were close to my best clothes, was pretty exciting in a strange way.

I couldn't believe what was about to happen to me! Because I had thought I might be glimpsed on TV, I'd worn a fairly conspicuous purple long-sleeved T-shirt, which I'd bought especially, with a really nice black cardigan and my favourite blue jeans. I mean, I was even wearing a really nice pair of socks! And now I had to basically take a mud bath without undressing! And as each second passed I could feel my nerves slowly changing to excitement

Just before leading us to the "wallow zone", the presenter told us to take our shoes off. The boy excitedly ripped his trainers off, revealing navy blue socks, and simply ran and vaulted into the very middle of the mud! It kind of went "SPLORK!" as he he hit it. It looked firm and thick, but really squelchy under the surface. Within seconds, he was down and rolling in it, and was totally covered! Seeing how instantly filthy he had become really made it hit home what I was about to do. I was still really nervous, but I had to admit that I couldn't wait to get into the mud.

I slipped both shoes off as instructed, feeling really exposed! I started to take my socks off too but the presenter said "No Lauren, the point is to get your clothes dirty, keep your socks on! We want you to get them covered in mud!" I did as I was told and pulled them back up firmly, in disbelief about having to go in the mud with them on! I was wearing an almost new pair of smart, thin black socks with contrasting bright turquoise heels and toes. I remember thinking how pretty and bright they looked, and how vulnerable I felt as I padded over to the tank in them. The hard floor felt really cold through the thin material too! The bright blue accents on the dark socks really stood out! I couldn't get my head around the fact that I was about to sink them into the mud!



"OK, in you get Lauren!" boomed the presenter. "Get yourself really filthy for us, go on, really muddy! Sink into the mud in those lovely socks!" The presenter certainly seemed to like my socks, but who could blame him, they were gorgeous!

I couldn't quite believe what I was doing as I climbed over the side of the tank and nervously lowered my feet into the mud. It was quite thick but yielded easily under my weight and I quickly sank well over my ankles in it. It was shocking watching my brightly coloured socks disappear into the heaving quagmire! It felt so cool and heavy as it sploshed all over my jeans and socks, imagine sinking into deep cow poo with no shoes on! I reckon it was nearly a foot deep too. It was so cold! I just stood there, very nearly up to my knees in mud, not sure what to do next. I felt quite awkward and embarrassed, but also strangely proud that I'd done something so gross! It actually felt really nice not having shoes on, I wiggled my toes, enjoying the smooth, squelchy feel of the mud through my socks. It felt a bit like paddling in the sea, only thicker and much filthier! The boy was laying down by now, caked in the stuff, looking up at me and laughing.

"Down you get Lauren!" said the presenter. "We need you to be really dirty, you've got to lie down in the mud! Go on, enjoy having a lovely wallow, you may have slimed your socks, but those clothes are far too clean!"

I needed to get more to the middle of the tank to give myself room to sit down in it and splash / splodge around. I felt another spark of excitement about my forthcoming wallow! The presenter was ramping up the excitement by providing a running commentary. Something he said about pigs in mud made us all laugh! Initially, I found it hard to move from my entry position, the mud was so deep and thick, it had enveloped my feet and legs! Each step was a very deliberate act, and as I withdrew my foot, there was a loud sucking noise that had people laughing, including myself! It went kind of "SCHLOPP! SCHLOPP! SCHLOPP!" as I stiffly made my way through the thick, wet mud! I could see, each time I pulled a foot from the sticky grip, that my lovely socks were now unrecognisable under a shiny layer of dark brown mud! They were definitely ruined! I was, to be honest, really surprised how hard it was to pull my feet out to make progress through the mud, especially considering I was in just socks and had no shoes to worry about. I also managed to splash my entire outfit with great globules of mud, but, far from being horrified, I loved how it felt as it splattered all over me! I think it would've been impossible to have kept my shoes on, so great was the suction! I guess this is why they wanted us to get into the mud in our socks. (They later admitted this, telling us a story about a previous time. A young girl had entered the mud in slip-on pumps and had them suctioned off almost immediately, she completed the exercise in her socks and had great difficulty finding her shoes!) Imagine getting in this huge vat of mud, having your shoes sucked off your feet and then having to hunt for them! (Although, in hindsight, that would have been quite funny and it did, in all honesty, feel a bit odd having your socks completely slathered in mud, then being handed spotless shoes afterwards!)

Once I had squelched to the centre, I plopped down onto my bum, then laid down and rolled over onto my front. I couldn't believe how it felt to be writhing around in this brown gunge, fully clothed. It was disgusting, but also quite nice in a weird way! I mean, we're always told not to get dirty, and here I was rolling in a massive heap of oozy mud, with nice clothes on! I couldn't help enjoying it. I got handfuls of mud and piled it up on the top of my head, and smeared it on my face, and basically just wallowed around until the presenter was satisfied that I was "filthy enough". It really was amazing fun to be squelching around in there. It was like bathing in porridge! I soon forgot all about my muddy socks anxiety and just relaxed and made the most of the chance to do something so unusual. In fact, thinking about it, it felt freer and more fun and spontaneous just having socks on. I could just squelch around without worrying about ruining or losing my shoes. For fun, a couple of times I scraped the mud off my feet to see if I could see any of the black and blue of my socks! I just about made out muddy blue toes, before plunging the filthy socks back into the thick mud. I almost forgot I was on a TV show, I was having such a lot of fun wallowing and squelching the mud all over me!

"Are you having fun in there Lauren?" boomed the presenter. He was clearly enjoying watching us! "Why don't you build a mud-castle? Hahaha!" To keep him happy I sat cross-legged, waist deep in the mud and made some sloppy mud pies. I then put one on my head! I felt like a child, but in a good way, it was really fun! I had long stopped worrying about my ruined clothes and my new socks!

I was actually a bit sad when it was time to get out of the mud, I wanted to stay in for longer! I would estimate we were in there for 15-20 minutes in total, I'd have happily wallowed and burrowed in it for hours! The pair of us actually found it quite hard to get out of the tank, we were so bogged and buried in the end! I laughed again at the loud sucking sounds as I pulled my feet out of the ooze and climbed over the side. And my clothes felt so heavy as I squelched across the studio to the "cleanup zone". The hard floor was actually really slippery to walk on in my muddy socks. I remember looking down at my outfit and not seeing any colour at all, it was just a mass of shiny brown slime. I found this oddly satisfying! I'd covered every square inch of myself in slop! I imagined the show being aired and my friends seeing me do this, and wondered what they'd make of it. I was known for NOT being into dirt!

In the end, we were given bathrobes whilst our clothes were washed. When I got mine back they were pretty dull and stained, particularly my jeans and weirdly, the bright blue parts of my black socks! But the TV people were generous and gave us vouchers for replacement garments.

It was a very messy way to achieve five minutes of fame, my friends called me "MudGirl" for ages afterwards! I look back on it with fondness though, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Outdoorfreedom · 56-60, M
Playing in the mud on the farm was fun.
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Outdoorfreedom · 56-60, M
@Subaru yes. Felt good on the hot summer days. Down along the creek too.
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Getmessy · 36-40, M
Awesome was this the really wild show.
Lauren19 · 26-30, F
@Getmessy What happened? What did you see?
Getmessy · 36-40, M
@Lauren19 it was a long time ago but I do vaguely remember watching this happen.
GreensAndBlues · 36-40, M
@Lauren19 i remember the Really Wild Show from the late 80s/early 90s. They had a segment of the show called On The Spot. Two slides that were blue and pink in colour were positioned leading into a pit of green gunk. The gunk looked kind of swampy. Two of the presenters sat on the slides while the third one asked questions. The slides had slats that kept the presenter from sliding down. If they answered a question wrong a slat would disappear and they’d slide further down the slide. Three wrong questions and the presenter slid into the gunge. I’d love to see that show again.
Warriormaiden17 · 26-30, F
How old was the boy you did it with? What did he think of the experience? Do you remember his name?
(What can I say, I love details when it comes to stories like this.)
Warriormaiden17 · 26-30, F
@Lauren19 my teeth were chattering! My favorite memory though was when one kid missed three times, walked up to the target, and asked “Can I do it?” My response was “Just do it!”
Lauren19 · 26-30, F
Hahaha, what a good sport you are!@Warriormaiden17
Warriormaiden17 · 26-30, F
@Lauren19 hey I wasn’t getting any dryer!
SweetHannah · 22-25, F
What a thing to have to do! It does sound like fun though, I definitely think I'd have liked to have taken part!
Lauren19 · 26-30, F
@SweetHannah I didn't feel like I could back out after being picked! In socks though........!
Subaru · 46-50, M
Sounds like awesome fun :) I love wallowing in Squishy mud in my BGBD :)
Subaru · 46-50, M
Try one :) @Lauren19
Lauren19 · 26-30, F
If I'm honest, I don't really get it.....@Subaru
Subaru · 46-50, M
ok I enjoy wearing my BGBD :) I have for over 12 year's :) @Lauren19
SweetHannah · 22-25, F
What a remarkable tale. I love the moment of clarity "wow it's hard to walk in this stuff, THAT'S why they confiscated my shoes!" 😁
Lauren19 · 26-30, F
I really didn't get it at first! Why would they make me step into that in my socks? I was going to go barefoot but they said we had to keep our socks on, the whole point was to get our clothes dirty! But yes, as soon as I'd sunk my feet in, I knew shoes would have been impossible to keep on!@SweetHannah
Charley21 · 26-30, F
Muddy socks anxiety! Haha, I love how you ended up having a blast. I'm surprised they made you do this though!
Lauren19 · 26-30, F
Haha, to be fair, they did pull us to one side when we were selected and say we didn't have to! Once I'd got over the nerves and surprise, I really wanted to get muddy though. It was just a really unusual activity and I felt like I shouldn't turn it down! My friends STILL talk about me heading into a mud bog socks-first, to this day!@Charley21
Charley21 · 26-30, F
I bet they do! It must have been amazing to watch you doing this!@Lauren19
jojo82 · 26-30, F
Wow, I can't believe they robbed your shoes AND made you keep your socks on! That's funny! Awesome story.
Lauren19 · 26-30, F
Thanks! Getting down and dirty in socks initially felt very strange, but I'm certain my shoes would've been sucked off in the mud anyway! It was so thick and sticky! @jojo82
Love the story...especially the part where you feel your heart in your throat. I understand that feeling well.
Lauren19 · 26-30, F
Thanks!@BizSuitStacy
Fuck that’s awesome 🤤😍🔥
Lauren19 · 26-30, F
I couldn't believe what they asked me to do! The grossest part was having to get in with just SOCKS on! Lol.@PrinceArthas
Omg 🔥🔥@Lauren19
Lauren19 · 26-30, F
I thought they were joking when they told me to remove my shoes, lol.@PrinceArthas
SW-User
What prompted this memory? 😁
emilytips · 26-30, F
What an astonishing story! 😁

 
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