I Am A Christian But Im Not Perfect

I strongly believe that the bible is the word of God, I have always been a black and white All or nothing Christian. But I am tempted to embrace a grey area. You see I'm lonely and want to make friends because all of my other friends moved away. There is this one woman who wants to be my friend. But she wants someone to go to the bar with and her best friends are a gay couple.....You see she is an unbeliever and I am a strong believer.....the truth is that the bar is no place for me. And I love all people including gay people but I don't agree with their lifestyle.....And I don't want to be unevenly yoked with an unbeliever.....But I'm just wondering if I should compromise because I'm lonely and just want to love on people.

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will999 · 70-79, M

Hello saintchantal 36-40, F. I am a christian too but I'm not perfect. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that the Spirit Of God found me while I was still completely lost and wandering in life with no idea of any central meaning or purpose. After about 40 or so years I am beginning to understand that Jesus died to pay a debt of sin for me that I did not even know I had. Turning to Jesus is not a once and for all act that permanently solves every problem I will encounter for the rest of my life. To stay on the way I need to do it over and over again, every day. My biggest enemies are within. My pride, selfishness and a general reluctance to admit that anyone or anything could be more important than [i]what I want now[/i] are my biggest obstacles and I face them every day. I was married at age 22 a few weeks after my GF reached the minimum legal marying age of 17 (with parental consent) in Australia where we live. She was not a believer and I married her against the advice of friends and relatives. It was probably the biggest mistake of my life. During the first year of our second child's life she had an affair with a fellow that she met in our home group. I suspected that something was going on but when I asked her about it she whould put her nose in the air, sneer and walk away. In desperation I dragged her to see a marriage counsellor and she crossed her arms in defiance across her chest and sneered at the counsellor too. A week before that child's first birthday she left me abruptly and moved in with that fellow on the very same day. Soon after moving in together she became pregnant to him and not long after that he dumped her leaving her alone with three children, one of them his. After the house I paid for was sold, I gave her half the price I got for it, in cash and said goodbye. Recently she paid me a visit one evening completely unannounced. She simply dropped in and said she would like to come back but I've learned a hard lesson. She showed no sign of regret for the trouble she has caused everyone and she is still an unbeliever. There is more to life than material comforts although I am grateful for the little that I have. If she is so unhappy with the consequences of her own choices there is little I can do about it. She too, has some hard lessons to learn. I am not holding on to a grudge, I simply feel or see no reason to believe that she has changed. I struggle to forgive myself for making such a foolish decision as to marry her in the first place. Today she can come and go as often as she pleases and [i]I feel no grief[/i] because I have no expectation of her. Everything we had once is now gone. She does not have the power to take anything more from me. These days we get on a lot better than we did when we were married because [i]I do not depend on her for anything[/i]. It may be possible to build a friednship based on mutual respect and the humble admission that even good people make mistakes, it is too early to say. If all she wants from me is a handout I think it is time for her to find a new fool.

Penny · 46-50, F

there is such a thing as bad friends. i think it's better to be alone than to have bad friends and dragging you out to the bar is not a wholesome activity. i would skip it unless you'd want to meet new people who like to hang out in bars and drink alcohol. (mind you i hate alcohol and think it is basically evil for the most part. it's bad for your health and stuff. my ex was a mild alcoholic and he got cancer.) not saying i don't drink occasionally.

will999 · 70-79, M

@Penny Hello there. I am a christian too and for the most part do not drink. Mostly means that I can count the number of drinks I have in a year on one hand and not use every finger. My parents separated when I was five years old due to my father's drinking and my older brother who chose to stay with our father started drinking with him at age thirteen. I told them both that I had become a christian at about age 20 or 21. My father thought I was 'brainwashed' by my mother and my older brother thought I believed in 'fairy stories'. Whenever I avoided having a drink with them they were quick to tell me that "one or two won't hurt", but they never stopped at one or two. For some people it is more than a bad habit. It is a terminal disease, a death sentence. I am made of the same genetic material and spring from the same background but I have little desire for alcohol and can easily say no. After my parents split I saw my father only at weekends for 12 years while I was growing up. Whatever else we did on that day he always had a 'little drink' first. I now understand that my health and safety were at risk much of the time because he was too drunk to act responsibly. He opted out of parenting the year I turned 17. I made contact with him 5 years later and I could see that the 'little drink' had gotten at lot bigger and there was less of anything else. He refused to see the damage he was doing to his body with it and took offence when anyone tried to explain it to him. Two years after our father's death my brother's emaciated body turned up in a cheap hotel where he had been living. I have known men who were fitter and stronger at 90 years of age than my brother was at [i]half that age[/i] due to his consumption of alcohol. He had other medical problems as well and alcohol did not help with them. It made him neglect his diet and medication.

Penny · 46-50, F

@will999 sorry about your dad and brother.

will999 · 70-79, M

@Penny Hi again. When I saw members of my own family drinking like there's no tomorrow I went to some AA meetings myself out of desperation as an 'observer' to see what I could learn. The meetings were free, voluntary, anonymous and fairly good-humoured (most of the time). Newcomers were allowed to claim the status of observer while they made up their mind whether or not a commitment to regular attendance would work for them. There I met some people happily claiming that they were 30 years sober thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous. The first thing I learned from those meetings is that until the drinker is ready to seek help [i]on their own account[/i] there is very little that anyone else can do for them. Many of the 'old timers' say that they had to hit rock bottom before they would even consider asking a 'higher power' or anyone else for help with a personal problem. I let go of my father and my brother not because I didn't care about them, but because I was convinced that I was powerless to help them with their drinking problem as long as they remained in denial of it.

Pfuzylogic · M

The problem is not their beliefs but their behavior. Be careful if you select make as friends.

golemn9 · 26-30, M

Jesus made friends with hookers. He friended and dined at the tax collector's house (the most hated man in the city). He interacted with Roman soldiers (His homeland's conquerors). He literally died laying amongst thiefs.
If you can't dine with a gay couple because you "disagree" with their lifestyle then I don't know what to tell you

saintsong · 41-45, F

@golemn9: I have gone out for coffee with them, I never said that I didn't.

Idgaf96 · 41-45, F

Are we not all sinners? Jesus says 'if you believe in me you will be saved' being friends with a lesbian will not damn you to hell. The Bible says many things like divorce, adultry, theft, lying ect... are sins. Yet look at to people of most churches, many have done all these things but are accepted.

saintsong · 41-45, F

@Idgaf96: I thought I made it clear that I believe that also.

JP1119 · 36-40, M

Be in the world, not of the world.

SW-User

If you want to make anything remotely close to a friend! then you need to reconsider your belief system!

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