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I Am A Christian But Im Not Perfect

I do my best to follow the spirit of Life, and love people....All people, friend or foe.....I am happily married and my husband is my best friend and lover, everyone else is my brother and sister in Christ....I get accused of being in love with other men romantically, but that simply just isn't the case with me...I battle the spirit of Jezebel, her desires are not my desires, she just wants to make a whore out of me when I am not, she is. But I am rejected and scorned like as if I were her. But I know that I'll go to heaven because I have faith that my sins are forgiven, even when a false prophet brings them up and spreads half truths and lies about me, I take it with a grain of salt...And when the wolf strikes and the sheep are all scattered, I am never alone, because the Love of my life is always by my side.....My reputation may be shattered but I know my character is as good as gold...I am one of the good ones. People have blamed me for things, but I know that I am innocent, God knows that I am innocent, of course I am not perfect, I sin, but not too badly, I don't act on it and my faith is my anchor.....And I choose to continiously walk in love and faith putting my heart in all of the right places. The truth is that with my old family doctor God inspired a romantic movie about us because I had an impure fantasy about him which I didn't have enough faith that God had forgiven me when I asked for forgiveness....By the spirit of life and a fellow Christian I was told to love him, who was not my loved one, so I tried to worship God, love my husband romantically and love my family doctor like a brother....During this time I was being corrupted by the spirit of Jezebel, she wanted me to have impure thoughts about my family doctor, but it was her not me, her desires are not my desires, but I was corrupted, and yes in the weak things I grew fond of my family doctor, I found him to be handsome, and I wanted a hug from him, and even though my faith in brotherly love was my anchor I dreamed of caressing his handsome face with affection, but I never streyed too far because I knew that my desire wasn't right, and I kept on going back to my faith, to keep me on the right path....The spirit of Jezebel sealed the nail in my coffin, and overpowered me to the point where I gave into her, I was so ashamed....It didn't matter that my family doctor dropped me as a patient, I deserved it, but it had nothing to do with him it was just me giving into the spirit of Jezebel, and the false prophet who tried to make it out like I was in love with both my husband and my family doctor, when that wasn't the truth, I tried loving him like God wanted me too and the spirit of Jezebel was trying to corrupt me....All I wanted was to endure her attacks and overcome her and go on my merry little way and still have a family doctor in the end....I told him the truth, I bore his abuse, because it was the spirit of Jezebel that he should have hated not me, I was a victim of a demonic attack between the spirit of Jezebel and the false prophet to the point where I could feel stigmata in both my hands and feet and right side.....During this time I could hear angels singing you're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, and I felt beautiful from within, and the Good Lord pleaded my cause saying that the nations will drink in her adulteries not mine.....I still hear people gossip about me saying that I was in love with my family doctor, and yes I do love him, like a brother in Christ, that will never change...Yes it would be more thrilling to have a crush on him, but honestly I think that's selfish and honestly I think it's wrong....I do not want another romantic movie inspired by my life, a loving movie yes but not one that appears adulterious or idolatrious, or cuveteouss....My marriage is sacred, and so are those of other married people.....I finally feel like myself again, and all is forgiven, I forgive all of the lies spread about me, and continue to endure them....Even though he is no longer my family doctor I'll let him go I won't beg for him to be my family doctor again, but I'll continue to love him when I see him at the ER like a brother in Christ in brotherly love and in purity, now that the spirit of Jezebel is gone. I am not a cheater or a whore, or do I ever want to make someone elses wife jealous......I am happily married and I love people that's it, that is who I am.....I don't care if people believe me or not I know my character is good, and I am pleased with myself.
SimplyTracie · 26-30, F
Wow! Too much to read but I'm sure your message is lovely. 😋

 
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