I Am A Christian But Im Not Perfect

What good is it to gain the whole world and to forefit your soul....You are the light of the world, a city built on a hill cannot be hidden....Godly sorrow brings forth repentance, and leaves no guilt, worldly sorrow brings forth death....God is watching over me, He see's the depths of my heart, and inspires movies of my life....God takes the weak things of the world to shame to strong, He takes the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and He takes the despised things and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are so that no man may boast in the SIGHT OF THE LORD.....The last time I had a fantasy, God Inspired a romantic movie of my life WITH MY FAMILY DOCTOR! let's just say it ended very badly....And now I'm scared to have a fantasy, even though GOD didn't do what I feared the most....He never showed the fantasy itself...But the traces of that kind of love colored my world.....So now what am I supposed to do with my heart and mind....Go on and love attractive men like brothers without a hint of romance, desire, impurity, NOTHING! Can I do that????????????? HONESTLY I DON'T THINK I'M CAPABLE..........Yes I do want to fight for a better world, yes I really do want to love attractive men like brothers and not be seduced by their handsome good looks, and I know that I can hold down that train of thought for up to a few years, but then one day when I'm bored, BOOM I'm no so pure after all and all hell breaks loose. And I dread that day...I know God isn't doing this to condemn me, but to save me, to fortify my faith in His forgiveness, and to purify my mind.....But it's a mighty strong hold to break, but it's something that I really must work on if I don't want to be possessed by the spirit of Jezebel ever again......I really struggle with this, all of the fear and doubt................Everyone says hey if it feels right just do it, but they never suffered the hell like I did.....Dear Lord, I lay down my dreams, I don't ever want to have another impure fantasy ever again...I want to love in purity, for who they are, I do not want to give the spirit of Jezebel another foothold, and I want to fight for a better world.

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SW-User

It is difficult, and I've struggled as well as you. One thing that worked was realizing that my own "trying harder" not to fall in sin was failing (again and again), and then had to remember that we're going to fail, and that I only needed to just hand over the sins, and the handling of them, over to God. That has strengthened me because now I'm not fighting the battle alone.

Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M

Excellent story Saint. Too many people confuse being faithful with being perfect. As Christians we know we are so imperfect. It's that consciousness that slowly makes us as perfect as we can be, ironically. But it isn't instantaneous.

TiltingatWindmills

There is no god and if there is it should be held accountable for all the suffering it permits!

Ynotisay · M

Reason #36 I'm SO freaking glad to be an atheist.

saintsong · 41-45, F

Without Christ there to forgive and wash away your sins, you will go through the white throne judgement,where heaven and earth will flee with fear and give God an account for your sins, and grey area's of your life.......I pray that you give faith a fighting chance. Being the light of the world is a dreadful place to be, for fear that all of my deeds will be exposed, but not my sins.....But it's a whole lot better than being a paranoid schizophrenic. doomed with demonic voices in my head....Now I have peace of mind, but it wasn't without pain and suffering, but that healed too.

Ynotisay · M

@SaintSong: OK. But I'm not quite sure how sins and judgement and all that really appeals to an atheist. You know, because I don't believe in it?

But there's lots of paths up the mountain. We're free to choose the one we want. I just chose one without guilt and judgement and fear. Helps me be a moral person. You clearly see it differently so....good luck.

InvaderNice · 26-30, M

@Ynotisay: Wow, what a bitchy response.

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