I'd Rather Feel Pain Than Nothing At All
Pain
Right now I spend hours drowning in thought,hours harboring a war within my spirit,hours hosting a battle in my soul.
Knowing pain in which I feel hurts too badly allowing my imagination wander.
I'm a man also riddle with wreckage and personal sin-struggles paralyzed by fear and caught in Satan's snares.
A man who loved others far more than he was ever capable of loving himself which breaks my heart the most.
My twisted perspective and wrecked mentality and deceit-fueled demons are the same demons quickly overcoming me.
Amazing how quickly my heart can move from praising God to blaming Him when life's circumstances suddenly become overwhelming.
It's as if at times our threshold for pain has the strongest pull on are loyalty.
As if the degree of affiction we face in our lives is somehow directly related to the degree of God's capabilities pain - induced arrogance.
It's my greatest defence mechanism!
Maybe it's denial of my circumstances and denial of my new reality.
None of this numbness,this pain,this wreckage - none of this plan.
Needing to flee as far and as fast as my mangled Heart will carry me!
Because in the End it is that The End![image deleted]
Right now I spend hours drowning in thought,hours harboring a war within my spirit,hours hosting a battle in my soul.
Knowing pain in which I feel hurts too badly allowing my imagination wander.
I'm a man also riddle with wreckage and personal sin-struggles paralyzed by fear and caught in Satan's snares.
A man who loved others far more than he was ever capable of loving himself which breaks my heart the most.
My twisted perspective and wrecked mentality and deceit-fueled demons are the same demons quickly overcoming me.
Amazing how quickly my heart can move from praising God to blaming Him when life's circumstances suddenly become overwhelming.
It's as if at times our threshold for pain has the strongest pull on are loyalty.
As if the degree of affiction we face in our lives is somehow directly related to the degree of God's capabilities pain - induced arrogance.
It's my greatest defence mechanism!
Maybe it's denial of my circumstances and denial of my new reality.
None of this numbness,this pain,this wreckage - none of this plan.
Needing to flee as far and as fast as my mangled Heart will carry me!
Because in the End it is that The End![image deleted]
