I Try to Be Kind to Everyone

The man on the corner, love-beams shot out like light through his wobbled teeth with his smile. Standing in front of him felt like a trance of overflowing compassion.

My son and I walked away, and as we stood at the corner waiting for the light to change, there was this tired woman with two unkempt kids tugging along her, while carrying an infant and other plastic bags. We had to help them cross the street.

I was letting myself be intensely affected by a particular emotion, a concussion of gratitude, sadness, kindness, and pity. I was grateful that I could share, that I have a son who took me out to dinner, that he has a warm place where I can sleep over when I visit him, that we would snack on the take home pizza later in the night, and that he was holding my hand at the moment.

My son looked at me with pride, his eyes saying, "Oh mom, I love that you feel things." He did not say, "It's okay, they will be okay." Because we both knew they might not be okay. And he did not say, "You'll be fine, don't cry." because he knew that I am much more than fine, and that I am upset at times because of things that softly kill me. My usual reaction is 'Well, I've had it with humanity. We are headed towards destruction." The deterioration of human existence. New World order? The elite? I don't know....The marginalized....Suffering. Darkness. It leaves me joyless. .

Somewhere, somehow, I know many are rooting toward compassion and kindness and love and light shining through the darkness. This is something bigger and beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not have lasted if humanity were inherently evil.

Agony. Relief. Not easy. Hope.