I Have Been [I Have Been Cheated On]

You know I was giving advice to a friend today... her husband of 13 years has recently cheated on her again. Only now he has a mistress as in they are dating.

My friend is sobbing asking me “Be honest do you really think they will stay Together? My dad and mom said they will break up”

And I gave her the realest advice ever. He’s already done it once and has a pattern of repeating this behavior. This is not acceptable nor do you have to tolerate it for any pressure you feel from anywhere

Don’t let people pressure you into forgiving him and staying and being miserable. Do you really want to live the rest of your life like this?

You deserve better and there is someone out there whom will love you and appreciate you and be faithful to you and respect you as a woman. Fuck him whole heartedly and leave his sorry fucking ass. You are so young and have your entire life ahead of you

Im so sorry to hear about this.... I, myself, havent been in that situation, yet I have given it a lot of thought...

To be cheated on can break a person in many ways... damaging confidence, feeling abused, feeling taken for granted and more... yet, we should always always remember that we were not the one who did wrong... we should forgive us first and then forgive them without allowing them into our lives anymore for once a cheater, always a cheater...

If you know how to love purly, you can always share that love with someone who deserves it...

Hi. Im reading this 2 years after you posted it. I feel so bad for you. I don't understand how some men can be.
The questions...did he look to cheat, did it just happen, did another girl go after him....why why why ?
I am so sorry that you are still somewhat griefor yourself....

It took almost 8 years for for me to get fully over it happening to me.

has he asked forgiveness?

So have i by both men and woman

I'm sorry that sucks

I hear you that it doesn't feel like you dodged the bullet. Sounds like that bullet whistling by felt like a direct hit with a grenade. I don't know if time heals ALL wounds. It certainly heals some; this one sounds deep.

The wounds may not heal completely. You may limp for a while. You may feel tender there. Be aware of the hurt, but try not to let it prevent you from getting up each day. Get up, look outside, give thanks for air to breathe and food to eat, then go live your day.

Take your limp with you and march forward into what is the rest of your life. You will find another soul, one who actually respects you, and respects himself enough to keep his word. {hugs}

I’m so sorry. I know you don’t feel strong, but the fact remains that you are. No great advice other than: be gentle with yourself. The pain will lessen slowly over years.

you'll never know.. because we aren't one another. you're mind's eye can not see his internal world.. nor he yours. not an excuse for his bad behavior.. just the way life works.

That’s horrible and I understand the inability to let go of the hurt. What he did was awful Maybe you still very much love him and miss the good memories and I think that’s ok. Me and my recently ex boyfriend have been through hell this year, but I still wish we were together. It’s only been a few days and it breaks my heart not being able to FaceTime him every night.

You have a special way with words. This is a very powerful piece of writing.

One day you will be okay, but I know that can take time. Until then, look after yourself. Make time for yourself. Treat yourself often. And put your well being at the top of your list.

I wish I had words to say that would make you feel better. I don’t know either of you so will resist the urge to tell you how terrible he is. Lise is seldom fair and people can be confusing, relationships complicated.

Even so, you have great value. I don’t know you but I sense you would tell a friend in the same situation that she isn’t disposable or chipped, rather a precious jewel that this young man foolishly let slip through his fingers.

I encourage you to choose to spend time collecting your pieces and restoring your spirit and ignore the “why?”. The answer will never make sense I’m afraid. I am sorry.

No, I haven’t heard from him or seen him in over two years. I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing. I struggle with that.

The betrayal of love, which you obviously felt, is like a poisoned wound. It never really heals well. The scar is bigger than it has to be, and you test it constantly to see if it still hurts.

Those who lie, use, and betray us are narcissists. Everything is about them and what they want. It's like a game for them. What can they get away with?

He was not in love with you. He was gaming you. Playing with you, like a cat with a mouse. There was no reason. He just wanted to have his fun.

Sorry to read you were cheated on. Must have hurt enormously :( I think break-ups can be from the hardest things in life, personally. I don't think that time alone can heal, depending on how the relationship ended. I imagine learning one has been cheated on must be quite a traumatic experience and will have subsequent emotions that won't just disappear in time, they'll need working through. Just my thoughts.

You’re a way better person. Let the wind blow him away and find a decent guy. X

That is so brutal the way he used you. Just because there aren’t bruises and broken bones it doesn’t mean that you suffered very traumatic emotional damage. He couldn’t have been more selfish. I do pray that you find new hope in your life because you are one of the most beautiful people on SW.

When you are ready,you’ll know. Only you can know that.

That really sucks! I know how you feel and a little of what you feel. I was married and got cheated on. Terrible feeling, Terrible reality. The best thing you can do is get out of your own head. You can be your own worst enemy sometimes if you stay inside your own head. You are stronger, but you did loose some pieces of yourself. Remember that selfish people don't do things to you. they do things for themselves and don't care who or what they hurt. After 13-years I still get angry about what went down in my life, but What is done is done. It is not easy to forget, but I have better things to do. Don't look back, look forward and smile. 🙂

Did he ever ask for forgiveness or want you back?

Your fiance made a big mistake. Never forgive him.

The fact you’re still feeling it shows how much it mattered. There’s still relationships I’ve had that hurt when I look back on them. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes your heart just takes the time and then one day it hurts less and then less and less. But it may always leave a little something behind like a scar to still feel the pain.

I'm sorry that it happened to you :(

You need to get laid.....

I married my best friend. She ended up turning on me like a rabid dog. We divorced. I never got a clear reason why. Yes, like you, it hurt me to my soul.

But then, ask yourself: What explanation would be sufficient? The answer is: none. It wouldn't change a thing. You may have to kick your own ass....just a bit, and recognize how much good you bring to the table.

I’m so sorry for you. You didn’t deserve that.

Are you still with him?

😔😔🤗🤗Hang in there 👍🤗