I Am a Father
New year, new beginnings. In a short span of time, I've found myself the sole guardian of my 14-month-old niece. And it looks like I'll be her guardian for a significant length of time. It's a lot of responsibility, but I have to recognize that I'm not just her uncle anymore. I'm her dad now. Let me explain...
A little while ago, my sister (my niece's mother) and her husband were arrested and charged with numerous very serious offenses. I don't want to go into detail (due to privacy), but the charges center on illegal drugs and the suspicion that something violent was about to occur. This shocked our family to the core, but we couldn't despair for long, because we were immediately faced with the question of what would happen to my niece.
My sister's husband is an immigrant, the first of his family to arrive here. Because of that, no one on his side of the family was an option, unless we were okay with my niece growing up in a country with fewer opportunities - and we were not. On our side of the family, my mom was not a good option, because she is getting older and, unfortunately, has some early signs of dementia. She has been consulting with doctors about her cognitive decline, and they have told her that she needs less stress in her life, not more. My dad is a non-option - we don't keep in contact with him. I have a little brother, but he is still in high school. Finally, I have aunts and uncles, but they all live out of state. My sister pleaded with us to keep my niece in the family and to keep her close by; if she went to live with one of my aunts or uncles, she'd be all the way on the other side of the country.
So, that left me. I mean, I'm pretty young and don't have much experience with babies, but I do have my own place and a good job that allows me to be financially independent and work from home. I was intimidated by the responsibility, and sometimes I still am. I try to take things one day at a time, and if I'm ever unsure of something (which is very often), I ask someone or do some research. I'm probably not the best parent right now, but I'm trying my best.
So, this year, one of my resolutions is to get even better. Raising my niece could be the most important thing I ever do in my life, and I want to get it right. I have to get it right, because she shouldn't have to suffer from her parents' mistakes.
Thanks for reading. I don't know if I'll try to delete this at a later date. Then again, it was somewhat cathartic to share my story here, so maybe I'll keep it.
Happy New Year~
A little while ago, my sister (my niece's mother) and her husband were arrested and charged with numerous very serious offenses. I don't want to go into detail (due to privacy), but the charges center on illegal drugs and the suspicion that something violent was about to occur. This shocked our family to the core, but we couldn't despair for long, because we were immediately faced with the question of what would happen to my niece.
My sister's husband is an immigrant, the first of his family to arrive here. Because of that, no one on his side of the family was an option, unless we were okay with my niece growing up in a country with fewer opportunities - and we were not. On our side of the family, my mom was not a good option, because she is getting older and, unfortunately, has some early signs of dementia. She has been consulting with doctors about her cognitive decline, and they have told her that she needs less stress in her life, not more. My dad is a non-option - we don't keep in contact with him. I have a little brother, but he is still in high school. Finally, I have aunts and uncles, but they all live out of state. My sister pleaded with us to keep my niece in the family and to keep her close by; if she went to live with one of my aunts or uncles, she'd be all the way on the other side of the country.
So, that left me. I mean, I'm pretty young and don't have much experience with babies, but I do have my own place and a good job that allows me to be financially independent and work from home. I was intimidated by the responsibility, and sometimes I still am. I try to take things one day at a time, and if I'm ever unsure of something (which is very often), I ask someone or do some research. I'm probably not the best parent right now, but I'm trying my best.
So, this year, one of my resolutions is to get even better. Raising my niece could be the most important thing I ever do in my life, and I want to get it right. I have to get it right, because she shouldn't have to suffer from her parents' mistakes.
Thanks for reading. I don't know if I'll try to delete this at a later date. Then again, it was somewhat cathartic to share my story here, so maybe I'll keep it.
Happy New Year~
