I Am Not Perfect
but the notion of perfection has altered my life.
It started when I got the news. News that some would be joyous to hear. News that brought me not joy, but complete panic..
You're pregnant.
Not what your thinking, not even close. There is no one to teach me to parent. No role models, no manuals. I have everything else..like Love And Money And A Big House..
So I made big, huge, brave, plans. Crashed course, bargained with whomever would listen..I'm going to be perfect...my prodigy deserves nothing less. Make me perfect, so they'll never know that I don't know what I'm doing.
And Perfect I Was Until My Little Prodigy Showed Me What That Facade Meant To Her...
She showed me that the pressure to measure was too much. I thought we were safe. Because not only years ago had I paid Styx for safe passage with my blood, but I had dotted my i's and crossed my t's.
I Loved her unconditionally, gave her everything, made her my high priority, but gave myself scraps and the leavings. Jokes on me because the life I manufactured, she saw through. She thought she didn't deserve the homage...and she unraveled.
Destroyed skin, 90 pounds, white addiction...all gave her a truth, she was missing.
Her truth almost destroyed us. So, she blew away the perfection with a nuclear bomb, and together we are not only finding those pieces but building a new reality.
We can love each other when we're NOT perfect.
It started when I got the news. News that some would be joyous to hear. News that brought me not joy, but complete panic..
You're pregnant.
Not what your thinking, not even close. There is no one to teach me to parent. No role models, no manuals. I have everything else..like Love And Money And A Big House..
So I made big, huge, brave, plans. Crashed course, bargained with whomever would listen..I'm going to be perfect...my prodigy deserves nothing less. Make me perfect, so they'll never know that I don't know what I'm doing.
And Perfect I Was Until My Little Prodigy Showed Me What That Facade Meant To Her...
She showed me that the pressure to measure was too much. I thought we were safe. Because not only years ago had I paid Styx for safe passage with my blood, but I had dotted my i's and crossed my t's.
I Loved her unconditionally, gave her everything, made her my high priority, but gave myself scraps and the leavings. Jokes on me because the life I manufactured, she saw through. She thought she didn't deserve the homage...and she unraveled.
Destroyed skin, 90 pounds, white addiction...all gave her a truth, she was missing.
Her truth almost destroyed us. So, she blew away the perfection with a nuclear bomb, and together we are not only finding those pieces but building a new reality.
We can love each other when we're NOT perfect.