I Have A Confession To Make

I keep going because I still have hope, and for the fact that I am afraid of death. But this doesn't mean I don't feel empty. I keep trying to achieve the goals I've always wanted to do with my life despite always being slapped down, even though my degree seems to be worth crap. And no one calls me, not even a text, nor do they visit. I even try to start conversations with my friends but guess I'm just that much of a loser for them to really care. Funny, right? I'm in my mid-30s and have no life...not even a social life no matter how hard I try. I ask myself what I have left to live for. The only family I've got left that cares about me are my parents. The rest died or are too busy with their own crap to care. I keep going because maybe there is something on the horizon. It's just unknown and out of reach. Happiness. I don't know what that is.