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I Want to Get Married

I want to get married, but I am also worried about so many things. Finances, living together, organising our life, our careers, agreeing on where to live. I wonder if my boyfriend is ready for such a commitment, and if I am ready. I'd like to have a bond that lasts a lifetime and I know we have a potential to make it work, but hearing about so many failed marriages doesn't give you a lot of courage. I would also want my BF to be more stable, to get a job, to show me he can be a high-functioning person and he still struggles to do that. I don't even know if I'm a suitable person to make such a huge commitments and decisions.

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FORMERLYbatovn · 56-60, M

RELAX!!!!!!!! focus ONLY on the relationship for the moment and see where it goes.!!!!!! when you get serious(which i dont reallt detect serious aboutmore then the "logistics") youll KNOW when its right. THEN you go back and discuss finances, organizing, kids, household duties and all of that.......enjoy the courtship. Plan a marriage not a wedding....plan to plan but only when you need to. Dont be in such a hurry that its more like a business merger then a marriage.

FORMERLYbatovn · 56-60, M

you ned to develop that mindset that WE need to make it work IF its in our future. Waiting for a bit to move in or get married and that is the BEST thing for both of you. Marriage isNOT a 50/50 deal, its a 100/100 deal.....talk EVERYTHING out as you deepen your relationship.......youre going down a road that needs thought and preperation, but also TIME!....:)

ListenerTalker · 31-35, F

Thanks. I try to take things slow, of course. We were about to live together, but we're waiting until he gets a job and is able to support himself. I'm just a little scared, I guess, because marriage is a huge thing and I don't know if I'm able to make it work.

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ListenerTalker · 31-35, F

Please don't. Thank you again, it really means a lot.

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ListenerTalker · 31-35, F

He has a job.

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