I F You Wait Too Long For The Perfect Moment It Will Pass U By
For years, I postponed getting in touch with my step-cousin. For one thing, my stepfather, whose nephew he was, had passed away in 1963. For another thing, my cousin lived 3000 away from where I lived; I lived in Los Angeles, then in San Francisco, then in Portland, Oregon. A lot of time went by and I kept hesitating.
I just didn't feel good enough, smart enough or cool enough. My self-esteem had been crushed by my crazy authoritarian mother and I felt I was not someone people would miss in their lives.
And then there was my weight. Being overweight in my world was a huge social handicap. I wondered if my step-cousin, Bill, would even want to be seen in public with me.
But...eventually, I remembered how kind he was, how intelligent, generous,witty, how thoughtful and caring, and how well we had gotten along in my youth when we met.
So...I looked up his address on the Internet and then sent him a snail mail letter.
Two months or so went by. I concluded he was a guy with a big social life and a tight schedule and maybe he remembered me as the awkward teen I had been and decided not to answer my letter.
Then his neighbor called me. It was obvious she had been his good friend and hated to break the news. Bill had died. I paused for a couple of seconds; somehow I had not expected this. Then I asked how he had died.
She told me Bill had been depressed, isolated in his apartment for some time, with few friends, almost no socializing. His overwhelming problem had been his weight. I knew Bill, like my stepdad and many in his family, had been a tad heavy when he was young, but I'd never thought about it much.
From what the neighbor described, it had become serious obesity along with the health problems that can accompany that kind of miserable condition. She did not want to discuss how he had died. I could hear her weeping as she spoke about it.
Someday, I'm sure, maybe even in my lifetime, the genetic researchers and others will find a medical cure for obesity. Social isolation, social stigma, and useless vanities, social anxiety, procrastination...well, I'm not so sure how quickly anyone can solve those problems.
I just didn't feel good enough, smart enough or cool enough. My self-esteem had been crushed by my crazy authoritarian mother and I felt I was not someone people would miss in their lives.
And then there was my weight. Being overweight in my world was a huge social handicap. I wondered if my step-cousin, Bill, would even want to be seen in public with me.
But...eventually, I remembered how kind he was, how intelligent, generous,witty, how thoughtful and caring, and how well we had gotten along in my youth when we met.
So...I looked up his address on the Internet and then sent him a snail mail letter.
Two months or so went by. I concluded he was a guy with a big social life and a tight schedule and maybe he remembered me as the awkward teen I had been and decided not to answer my letter.
Then his neighbor called me. It was obvious she had been his good friend and hated to break the news. Bill had died. I paused for a couple of seconds; somehow I had not expected this. Then I asked how he had died.
She told me Bill had been depressed, isolated in his apartment for some time, with few friends, almost no socializing. His overwhelming problem had been his weight. I knew Bill, like my stepdad and many in his family, had been a tad heavy when he was young, but I'd never thought about it much.
From what the neighbor described, it had become serious obesity along with the health problems that can accompany that kind of miserable condition. She did not want to discuss how he had died. I could hear her weeping as she spoke about it.
Someday, I'm sure, maybe even in my lifetime, the genetic researchers and others will find a medical cure for obesity. Social isolation, social stigma, and useless vanities, social anxiety, procrastination...well, I'm not so sure how quickly anyone can solve those problems.