I Don't Fear Death

A long time ago death was my biggest fear, now not only do I feel no fear of death, I wish for it in every moment. In some way I'd prefer to wish for death in the same way most do, being so grief stricken or depressed that they just can't go on but that's not why I want to die. I wish I was dead and have done since I was seven years old because I've understood since that time that I will only know true peace when I'm no longer living, my pain will only end when I do. I haven't felt a single normal human emotion in years, due to physical torture from infancy I don't function in any true human fashion. I've depended on pure logic to get as far as I have within human society but none of it makes any difference when all you feel is the sting of ancient pains, all you have to go on for is the dream of one day taking the lives of those tho took your own. In all honesty the only reason I'm writing this if anyone ends up reading this far is to know that I have said it, do not feel obligated to try and aid me in any way, don't feel like you need to be my friend because it's preferable than the guild you may feel by ignoring this. It will only be an inconvenience and you have no reason to feel guilt or duty, I chose this life, I have to accept it.