I Want to Be Positive About Life
It's astonishing to me that I have lived so long and seen so much and yet still find myself utterly dumbfounded by life on occasion.
After a winter and spring of difficulties, challenges, even a couple of events that fall nothing short of tragedy, I was at my lowest point in many years. I'd given up on things ever getting better. Each new day seemed to bring, not hope, but just new pain. I left SW because I couldn't bear the thought of bringing negativity to those I cared about -- and it seemed that negativity was all I had to give. My friends told me that I was wrong. That I mattered to them. That they saw good in me even through this darkness. I'm ashamed to say that I didn't believe them. Couldn't believe them.
And then, all of a sudden, a miracle happened. I wasn't expecting it, wasn't hoping for it, wasn't even praying for it. It just happened. A real, honest-to-God miracle!
Someone somehow reached me through that darkness. Someone told me that it didn't have to be this way -- and, in a way that I hope I will never understand, convinced me that she might, just possibly, be right. Someone softly insisted that there was good in me -- more good than I imagined -- and stubbornly refused to take "no" for an answer. Someone gently touched my pain, explored its deepest roots, and somehow, inexplicably, soothed them. Someone told me that some of what I had come to fervently believe was, in her own words: "the stupidest thing I have ever heard".
And I'm changing because of it.
And, I hope, giving something back...
There are magical people in this world. I'd call them "angels" except that they are all too human. With their own pain, their own challenges... they understand. When you discover such a person in your life, believe that they are there for a purpose. Gratefully accept what they offer, as best you can. Give back what you are able. And never, ever forget how blessed you are to know them.
I know there is so much pain circulating around here these days. It is heartbreaking to see. But to those who are suffering, try to keep a little window open to the possibility of something unimaginably good coming in. Your own little miracle. When you least expect it. If it can happen to me, in my darkness, it can happen to you. I wish good things for you all.
After a winter and spring of difficulties, challenges, even a couple of events that fall nothing short of tragedy, I was at my lowest point in many years. I'd given up on things ever getting better. Each new day seemed to bring, not hope, but just new pain. I left SW because I couldn't bear the thought of bringing negativity to those I cared about -- and it seemed that negativity was all I had to give. My friends told me that I was wrong. That I mattered to them. That they saw good in me even through this darkness. I'm ashamed to say that I didn't believe them. Couldn't believe them.
And then, all of a sudden, a miracle happened. I wasn't expecting it, wasn't hoping for it, wasn't even praying for it. It just happened. A real, honest-to-God miracle!
Someone somehow reached me through that darkness. Someone told me that it didn't have to be this way -- and, in a way that I hope I will never understand, convinced me that she might, just possibly, be right. Someone softly insisted that there was good in me -- more good than I imagined -- and stubbornly refused to take "no" for an answer. Someone gently touched my pain, explored its deepest roots, and somehow, inexplicably, soothed them. Someone told me that some of what I had come to fervently believe was, in her own words: "the stupidest thing I have ever heard".
And I'm changing because of it.
And, I hope, giving something back...
There are magical people in this world. I'd call them "angels" except that they are all too human. With their own pain, their own challenges... they understand. When you discover such a person in your life, believe that they are there for a purpose. Gratefully accept what they offer, as best you can. Give back what you are able. And never, ever forget how blessed you are to know them.
I know there is so much pain circulating around here these days. It is heartbreaking to see. But to those who are suffering, try to keep a little window open to the possibility of something unimaginably good coming in. Your own little miracle. When you least expect it. If it can happen to me, in my darkness, it can happen to you. I wish good things for you all.
61-69, M
