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I Used to Be Christian Now I'm Agnostic

I know something is out there that controls everything. You can call it God but it's not like what they say in religious texts. It's not loving, it's not forgiving, no matter how hard you pray it doesn't care about you because to them you're just a speck in space who is lucky to be alive.
4meAndyou · F
The God Who speaks to me, inside my heart, late at night when all is quiet and I turn to Him, is not only loving and forgiving, but is also incredibly wise.

My cousin called me a few days ago. She has a very crazy, very busy life, with lots of children with lots of problems, and her husband is having health trouble. She said to me that she tries to read her scriptures every morning, and she tries to connect to God, but she just can't hear Him! That has happened to me, too.

It's like there's a two way radio connection between a person who loves God, and the still, quiet voice in your heart,(which is the Holy Spirit), Who, if we let Him, will live within our heart.

When your life is too crazy, or when there are too many problems...or, as in my cousin's case when she despairs, because she has had too many immediate family members die, your connection to God can be damaged. It becomes like a radio with a lot of static on the line. You feel cut off. You feel alone and unloved.

This so called uncaring God sang to me again last night. This is the same time He has sung a song by Patsy Cline to me...silently, in the still of the night.


"You Belong To Me"

See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle
Just remember darling all the while
You belong to me

See the marketplace in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me
I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too and blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember till you're home again
You belong to me

I'm gonna be so alone without you
And I'm hoping maybe you'll be lonesome too and blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember till you're home again
You belong to me
JBird · F
@4meAndyou I feel love but it isn't from God. It's from people that surround me.
4meAndyou · F
@JBird Good. I am glad you have that much. My own personal belief is that God is the source of all love. I'm sorry you were hurt.
Sharon · F
@4meAndyou [quote]I just wish you could feel it, too.[/quote]
I wish that you could find peace as I do, without going through all that rigmarole.
Peaches · F
This is a learning planet so to speak, 😔it can be very harsh. It's how we learn. There can be no light without darkness or we wouldn't know the difference. The lesson is learning to love. 💗 When you fall don't give up! 💙😌
unknownpoetx · 36-40, M
same. even taught the bible to kids.
Sharon · F
I was brought up as a christian, much like most people in the UK of my age, but I can't say I ever really believed. Nothing in christianity makes any sense so I'm an Atheist now.
JBird · F
@Sharon my ancestors were Hindu and around 1800s they were converted by Saint Thomas during his expedition in India. My family always disliked non religious people. I have a hard time not to pick up fight with them
AN1991 · 31-35, M
Thought you were Hindu
JBird · F
@AN1991 what? Lol. Well, according to Hindus in India, I am a convert. Lol

 
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