I Am Grateful For My Life Lessons

The best one was from a clinical psychologist many years ago facilitating a group session I was in. One guy was ranting about how it was so important to "treat others as you wish to be treated". We were all nodding wisely and he exploded "Really!! You are all privileged white males. Any idea how a young female Muslim actually wants to be treated?"

Hit me like a wrecking ball. [b][u]I have to treat others how THEY want to be treated. [/u][/b] Now that my friends.... is exceptionally hard

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Nettle · F

Very good point ... but you can't go around asking [b]everyone[/b] how they want to be treated! And supposing someone wants to be treated like a god? [b][i]Or like a sex slave??[/i][/b]😳

I actually [i]know[/i] a few blokes who'd like me to put them in chastity and call them sluts ... I think I've managed to convince them that I don't have it in me!!😉

Omg - I'll continue to treat people as human beings deserving of consideration, and hope they do the same for me!😅

SW-User

As I say it us exceptionally hard to do as you say you can't ask the world individually also there are my morals, values and principles I won't step over even if another was convinced that is how they should be treated

Nettle · F

@Nunos50: Exactly ... and in some cases, treating people how [b]they[/b] want to be treated would cross your [b][i]own[/i][/b] boundaries, and break all your hard limits!😨

We'll just continue with the way we normally treat people, it's much more sensible..!!😇

SW-User

Interesting thought.

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SW-User

@Kuronekko: there's a simpler way...

InOtterWords · F

@Nunos50: you could try asking them.

SW-User

@InOtterWords: Otter you win the prize! that's the simplicity of it, but the difficulty of it too

firefall · 61-69, M

setting yourself up with impossible expectations is excellent self-sabotage technique. You can't read minds, you can't know how they want to be treated.

SW-User

Correct to a point. Not impossible though. How can I overcome that?

nojudging · 61-69, M

Treating others as you would like them to treat you could be a good starting point!

SW-User

Little example ... I visit your house, you offer me scotch not knowing I'm an alcoholic. So again I ask.... There's a simple first step?

nojudging · 61-69, M

If you expect to be treated with courtesy & respect. Would you not treat others with courtesy & respect?

SW-User

@nojudging: that's not the point that is such a small part of Human interaction.

Here's what it taught me.

1 don't make assumptions always remain on a non judgemental neutral position until the other tells you how it is for them

2 seek. Learn as much about others as you can, know when it is Ramadan so I don't organize a team lunch in that time. Understand what is a Buddhist noble path. Understand the history of the slavery Englishmen imposed on Africans. Etc etc etc Learn, learn, learn

3 here's the easiest one, so simple it's blinking genius... ask open non leading non pre judgemental questions. In my example rather than "how about a beer or scotch" simply "would you like a drink?"

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