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I Don't Say I Love You Unless I Mean It

I just found out something... Something that broke my heart. Something that keeps me sad for days.

Someone who has a place in my heart just blocked me... I don't know what is he thinking about me, I don't know why he thought that was the good thing to do, I don't know if he thinks that I just forget about him, I don't know what to think, I don't know what to do, I don't know...

Yes, maybe it was a little of my fault, maybe I give him a lot of space, maybe if I didn't think that I wasn't important to him...

The moment I decided to not log in for days I was feeling down, I thought he didn't want to talk with me, he didn't care about me anymore, I was bothering him if I talked to him, I was just expecting him to talk to me.

Right now, nobody can fix this, there's not what if...? Maybe he thinks I don't care about him, that everything I said wasn't truth, but it was truth... I wouldn't be feeling this way if it wasn't truth.

Someone told me to write how I'm feeling with this... I don't know how to feel. At moments I'm feeling sad, I wasn't there as I promised, I don't know if he needed me, I don't know it because I wasn't online. At moment I'm feeling mad, why he didn't try to talk to me? Why I don't have messages from him? Why he didn't think about me? Why? Why? Why?




Wow, I just read everything I wrote again. Its been 4 days since that. I'm feeling the same way, nothing changed but right now I'm missing him. I miss every talk with him, I miss the way I felt with him, I miss to try to make him laugh, I miss to be silly with him, to be ridiculous, to be me. I miss to be insecure (ridiculous right?), I miss to smile every time he texted me, I miss to laugh with him, I miss to make him feel better.

I don't know if he still wants to talk with me, if he considers me a friend, I just know that I have another account and look for him everyday, some days once or twice a day (maybe this is a little stalker but, I had to know about him, how he's making it..), I think about him everyday.

Maybe you would unblock me someday and you're going to read this... I miss you, I do care about you, I want to be there when you need me (I just thought you'd like to have some space, I was wrong), I want to make you feel better... I just want to be in your mind when you need someone to talk, someone to laugh with, I just want to be there.
spanishliljon
Man's rejection is God's protection. People who want to be in your life make an effort to be, don't feel bad about it. If they choose not to have you in their life, it's their issue not yours.
Justanothergirlonep · 26-30, F
awww, thanks for your lovely words, they made me feel much better. I'm going to have them in mind for ever. Thank you so much :))
spanishliljon
We've all been through it, and you'll be so much better for it. Love yourself first :)
NewBeginnings00
Were played and cheated by someone at least once, but it just helps us learn more, most of life is trial and error, eventually you'll find the right person, someone loves you for who you are
Justanothergirlonep · 26-30, F
thank you, really. I appreciate your words

 
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