I wake up and just think to myself...... What happened? Why do people who used to be my friends hate me now? Why would somebody stoop so low to make the whole city hate me? How did this happen to me?
But no matter what answer I get, I will always know this: I can't fix it. No matter what I do, I am not able to fix all that has happened. And it makes life feel meaningless when big efforts get no recognition. I'll wake up from dreams thinking to myself, "Why can't things be like that again?". Why can't people learn to like me for who I am? I'm not a snappy dresser, I don't try and make everything match (I do try to make them sort of match in a sense though), I don't do my hair every morning, I don't ask alot from people, so why do I always have to be treated like I'm "just that kid with problems" or something?
It all connects to the loudmouths who started it all 2 FUCKING YEARS AGO. 2 years ago. Let that sink in. Still going on, for two years. It isn't a matter of "They'll find someone else to make an outsider". No, I'll always be that outsider. They will always make me feel the way I do now, as that "outsider".
As if Life isn't hard enough. All of the good I do NEVER EVER gets recognized. There's just no meaning to anything anymore.