I Regret

In my earlier life, from my early teens to right before I turned 20, I was a royal asshole. I have come to greatly despise who I was back then. I strained every relationship I was ever in with lies and a disgusting lack of effort put into them. I took those relationships and those people for granted and how I treated them with a lack of respect and general common decency is my largest regret in life.

In recent years I have reached out to all of my exes to apologize for who I was and who I never was but should have been. The results were what you would expect, everything from disinterested to optimistic that I had changed for the better since our time together.

In the past being in a relationship simply for the "status" was the driving force for me, but now I am much more selective and definitely more interested in being with a person for the person, not for what they could potentially give me or grant me.

In my past I was a horrible person, and while some people from my past can find it in themselves to forgive me for who I was, I find that I am struggling to forgive myself for the same.