I Think Once a Cheater Always a Cheater

Once upon a time I held a perspective/ideal that I would be a faithful partner to whom ever I was in a relationship. That reality was crashed the moment that I started seeing another guy while being a in a long distance relationship with another man in 2017. I ended the long distance relationship at the persistence of the new guy. Things were over long ago however I stayed in the partnership.

It’s over a year now with the current partner and we were also in a distance relationship by 3 hrs drive. However during this time I was also creating friendships with other people. I like to talk and I find myself bored easily ( no this is not a defence- merely background info). It’s coming up to 5 months we’re living together.

I love this guy. Yet I’m bored and now I find myself talking to other guys but I always tell them I’m in a relationship and seeking platonic interactions.

Yet things have happened and I didn’t intend them to. I’m a cheater and I want to return the ideal of being a faithful and committed partner.

Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M

I don’t subscribe to the “Once, Always” notion. I think that if one’s needs are truly being met by the person they are with, there is no need to look outside the relationship. So you’ve been in two and both times experienced a cheat. I’m pretty sure there’s someone out there who could snap you out of your habits. Good luck!

JP1119 · 36-40, M

I don’t think you have to break up with the guy you’re with, but I have a suggestion: come clean, tell him that you’ve done things with others. That should help you forgive yourself, and then it puts the decision of whether or not to continue the relationship in his hands. Maybe he wants to stay with you in spite of your indiscretions? Don’t just make the decision for him that it has to be over if you still like him.

ZairaZenZen · 26-30, F

@JP1119 Fair comment! I did not think about it like that, I was only thinking about my own burden, very selfish. Sobering thought re giving him the opportunity to decide instead of keeping it to myself. He knows and he wants to stay in the union. Thank you for sharing your insights :)